一二三四

 一二三四

Before there was us

It was you and I 

Charming loving 

The best ever or so they said.  

I’m trying hard to make this right

But fuck you’re difficult. 

I hate you 

Love you but

Here we are 

Trying to explain history 

Our synopsis is not enough 

Ichi ni san shi

Count it back and say it with me. 

Trying to put it all together. 

Some times the truth doesn’t make sense 

Shi san ni ichi 

Face it right and say it with me 

We pretend to be

Previous in their eyes 

Forever and 

Ever was the tale that we told

In my eyes you see the truth we hide 

Damn can’t you just be true 

I had you 

Left you but

What is this 

Trying to explain history 

Our synopsis is not enough 

Ichi ni san shi

Count it back and say it with me. 

Trying to put it all together. 

Some times the truth doesn’t make sense 

Shi san ni ichi 

Face it right and say it with me 

I hate you

Love you but

Here we are 

I had you 

But left you 

What is this. 

Ichi 

Ni 

San

Shi 

Trying to explain history 

Our synopsis is not enough 

Ichi ni san shi

Count it back and say it with me. 

Trying to put it all together. 

Some times the truth doesn’t make sense 

Shi san ni ichi 

Face it right and say it with me 

...I Am

 

Foolishly I believed 

Everything they told me

I’m just a little wiser now 

And I’m too aware of this bullshit

We don’t know

Anything do we

And we bounce along 

Any kind of melody

God and religion is a narrative written by men to silence the masses.      

I won’t be silenced.    

I stand up to the patriarchy and say...   

I am

My friends still believe it 

I couldn’t open them

Up to the true reality 

No matter how much it slaps them 

What is this

Distorted Vision

That we try to see

No matter now how vague it is 

God and religion is a narrative written by men to silence the masses.      

I won’t be silenced.    

I stand up to the patriarchy and say...   

I am

Tell me something I haven’t heard before

Maybe I’ll be yours or nothing forever more 

God and religion is a narrative written by men to silence the masses.      

I won’t be silenced.    

I stand up to the patriarchy and say...   

I am

All I Want Is Love

 All I Want Is Love

Another four letter word

Love

But I don’t say 

As it’s the worst

Promising the most

Giving the least 

At least to me. 

Fuck damn shit

Are all more fulfilling than 

Love.... but, 

All I want is love

To feel it 

To be in it

To believe in it 

All I want is love

To give it

To trust in it

And to have it

Based in fairy tales it lives

Love

Story or lie

An illusion

That would give me hope

Delivering 

These hollow dreams. 

Once upon

A time dreams did come true yet

Love... but,

All I want is love

To feel it 

To be in it

To believe in it 

All I want is love

To give it

To trust in it

And to have it

In the darkest days

When I feel nothing but

Loneliness 

Love, the dream of love

Keeps me warm

Keeps me safe

Keeps me true. 

All I...  All I... All I want is love

All I want is love

To feel it 

To be in it

To believe in it 

All I want is love

To give it

To trust in it

And to have it

Who? ...the echo...

(Do you hear the reverb

The past who’s echoing?)

I'm learning to celebrate the memory and not become a victim of the crime I created in my head

To take all that you gave me to see all the good and let go of the bad it all makes me who I am and I know I am amazing

I am grateful to have found someone who has learned this lesson and has shared it with me

They will always be my hero who was able to save me from myself

I'm so glad that his lessons have taught me to be able to share with him but I have learned as well

I now know that there is a part of me that I can give to everyone

Who are we.  Who are us.  Who are you.  Who am I.  

 

I am glad to celebrate the foolishness of what was the ignorance and how selfishly I was above it. You were here this is then and now is now.  But why do you care you’re such a selfish human being you should die in dirt.  

It’s hard to live and let go when when your choices have left a hole in my purity and forgiveness.    That makes it’s hard to figure out the roles we played then and how they are perceived now as it depends on who you ask who was right, was wrong, was the fool, the winner in the classic tragedy:   The what was said by whom about whom.   

Who are we.  Who are us.  Who are you.  Who am I.  

The echos (love making, fights, promises)

The echos (the cheating, lies, accusing)

The dust settles 

And it rains

It washes us clean

Just to start again. 

Who are we.  Who are us.  Who are you.  Who am I.  

The echo

Who?   We are the echo

Who?   The echo is us

Who?   You are the echo

Who?   The echo is me

What is this...EVERYTHING

 What is this... EVERYTHING 

I want to throw up the world

And watch it fade away 

If I was a Titan

That’s just what I’d do

I would watch this world drown

And see the wrong perish

If I was your God

That’s just what I’d do.  

With a Thunderbolt.  A flick of the wrist.   What a plot twist. 

We aren’t worthy of this world

The meteor came too early

So here we are 

Hating each other 

And here I am trying 

To make sense of it all

What is this anger pain suffering anguish everything 

What is this loving trust forgiving truly everything

I sat alone in the cold 

Feeling everyone’s pain

If I was the Allah. 

That’s just what I’d do 

I’d watch everyone burn 

Is that what we deserve. 

If I was Devine 

That’s just what I’d do 

With a story tale.  And a twist of fate.   What a plot twist. 

We play the parts that we chose

The final curtain was the scene 

And her we are 

Craving some love but 

Feeling empathy for

Everyone despite this 

What is this anger pain suffering anguish everything 

What is this loving trust forgiving truly everything

Star crossed and crossed 

We live in the between 

The flossed 

And the mean 

Living in this life

And feeling emptiness 

With other emotions 

What is this anger pain suffering anguish everything 

What is this loving trust forgiving truly everything

Just Me (why why why)

I am a hopeless romantic who is eternally pessimistic about the longevity of happiness 

I’ll stay realistic on the basics, the truth and lies, of the world we live and love in these days of days.

A happy ever after is Idyllic but unrealistic considering divorce stats and the unfaithful marriages 

I’ve been one who was the ideal couple but I know the truths and lies beyond the fairy tale facade 

I might need you now

But forever?

I don’t need any one

But just me 

I was hopelessly in love with a danger that almost ruined me but somehow I survived 

You could promise the stars but you can’t touch them so that’s nothing more than a fallacies 

Love is meant to be pure and true but I’ve found it’s a crutch to hold on to the blissful past

I’ve been there and done that for the world to see and I don’t know if I can do that shit ever again. 

I might need you now

But forever?

I don’t need any one

But just me 

Why why why is this game a thing 

Why why why do we emote dreams

Why why why do we struggle here

Why why why is love the end game 

I might need you now

But forever?

I don’t need any one

But just me 

finding balance...IN TIME

 finding balance... IN TIME

Skipping rocks 

The water ripples 

Absorbing shock 

And finding balance 

In time. 

Beating me

The body bruises 

Dealing with pain

And finding balance 

In time 

Crying out 

My words still echo 

Vibrating back

And finding balance 

In time

Lashing out

When I can’t let go 

It thrashes back 

And finding balance

In time 

Breathing air 

When I’d rather not

Yet still I gasp 

And finding balance

In time

What is fair

With what is lost 

I try and grasp

And finding balance 

In time. 

Skipping rocks, beating me

Crying out, lashing out

Breathing air, what is fair?

I dare some one to look me in the face

And tell me why it was okay, they say

In your head

You dreamt it up 

In my soul

I gave it all up 

I try to see 

I am here now 

And finding balance

In time. 

I’m Waiting For Your Return

 I knew the first time i kissed your lips

Every goodbye would hurt

There's magic there I can't resist

I wish I knew what it was

Now that you're not here I miss...

Your touch, your kiss, your smile

The light you shine without trying

Your voice, brilliance, embrace

The breath you breathe when you're holding me

I'm waiting for your return...

The first time I ever felt your true love

I couldn't get enough 

I keep craving more and more

There's so much I want more of

And when you're not here I miss...

Your eyes, your lips, your taste

The love you give without trying

Your strength, kindness, wisdom

The sweat you perspire while making love

I'm waiting for your return

Know This

 Know This 

I've learned from my past

I won't be so passive

I won't be a door mat

To be disregarded

All I was left with was a heart

That I've trusted you with

Don't make me think that you love me

I won't be another's fool

Know this my friend

Should this come to an end

If you dare to mistreat me

You won't come out ahead

I gave you my love 

When I loved myself

If you can't do the same

I will be left with me

If you dare to be so cruel

You deserve what you get

An eternal victim in pain

If your words are in fact true

Know this my friend

Should this come to an end

If you dare to mistreat me

You won't come out ahead

I give you trust that's fresh and new

But realize my heart knows truth

So know this my friend

Truth and love begets joy

Lies and pain bring more pain

What you give to me will come back to you

Know this my friend

Should this come to an end

If you dare to mistreat me

You won't come out ahead

YOU happen

 YOU happen

You’re in my dreams

I’m falling in love

But I can’t recall your face 

I’m looking for you in the shadows 

Even though I know that

You probably don’t exist. 

You’re probably the one that got away 

That I never even acknowledged

Now my subconscious is lambasting me

To find you

The right one

I’m tired of waiting 

For you to find me

You won’t just happen

I’ll make it work 

To meet you 

And be done 

The thing of living

Alone won’t suit me

I’ll see this happen 

You’re inside me

A fantasy now

But a choice I should regret 

I search my mind for a trace of you. 

As that dream was too real

For us to have never met 

Or maybe you’re the best that’s yet to come 

That I have yet to experience 

All I want is to find you intently. 

To find you

The right one

I’m tired of waiting 

For you to find me

You won’t just happen

I’ll make it work 

To meet you 

And be done 

The thing of living

Alone won’t suit me

I’ll see this happen 

I can’t help it

I saw you at least more than once

There’s something about you 

That’s lingering and I can’t shake

I hope and dream and wish 

Maybe one day you happen

To find you

The right one

I’m tired of waiting 

For you to find me

You won’t just happen

I’ll make it work 

To meet you 

And be done 

The thing of living

Alone won’t suit me

I’ll see this happen 

Ember

 Ember

The days pass like flipping pages

Like a lake rolling in its wakes

Some days casual 

And sometimes violent

But the next isn’t promised 

Nothings guaranteed 

As today looks back on yesterday

And watches it burn from view 

A ember from the past

Could still destroy everything. 

Remembering the flames

The heat and passion

The hurt and the ruin 

Each day comes quicker than the last

That I start to forget the past

In memoriam 

With such temperance

That’s disregarded

As today looks back on yesterday

And watches it burn from view 

A ember from the past

Could still destroy everything. 

Remembering the burn

The hate and loving

The lies above it all 

If you run away from the past

Without facing what didn’t last 

It will come for you 

With a fires fury

And torch all your dreams

As today looks back on yesterday

And watches it burn from view 

A ember from the past

Could still destroy everything. 

Remembering the spark

The fear and the joy

The truth that made you run 

Remembering the burn

The hate and loving

The lies above it all 

Remembering the flames

The heat and passion

The hurt and the ruin 

Remembering

Remember

Ember