Orbiting

You've always been permitted to think

people will leave your life just to circle back

but all this continued going round and round

damn, this circling is dizzying

If there's a tether keeping me in orbit

let me cut myself free

I'm getting ill from your vertigo

If this circuit has been your whole life 

If all this spinning has spun and worn you out

You've lost perspective and you can't see straight now 

That's why you never find your feet

If there's a tether keeping me in orbit

let me cut myself free

I'm getting ill from your vertigo

If a tether is severed

how long until I'm out of reach

or will your gravitas keep me coming round

If there's a tether keeping me in orbit

let me cut myself free

I'm getting ill from your vertigo

But if it's always me coming back 

maybe I can change my trajectory

Finality

Yes I've essentially ignored your calls 

And the messages you leave 

When you said you didn't want to talk again 

This time I'm holding you to your own finality 

Did you think that behavior 

Had no consequence 

When you continue to break my heart 

Eventually there's nothing left to break

Somehow you heard me singing 

And assumed I must be happy

But the only reason I'm harmonizing

To other folks upbeat songs

Is I'm in a continuous state

Of trying to not fall apart 

You really haven't been paying attention

All this time and you don't know 

I don't write happy songs and when singing joy

I inject an undercurrent of melancholy 

Are you really cool like this 

With nothing stable 

And it continually gets worse 

Even if you are I'm not gonna be

Somehow you heard me singing 

And assumed I must be happy

But the only reason I'm harmonizing

To other folks upbeat songs

Is I'm in a continuous state

Of trying to not fall apart 

The irony in all of this unrequested change of course

You were the one who set that bridge on fire

Throwing any accelerant at it that you could find 

And you're still trying to submit your feelings for my consideration

When mine have always been an afterthought that finally came far too late  

A Passage for Love, not Lovers

At some point enough is enough 

I refuse to keep fighting for something 

When all I'm doing is defending my name 

As you invent New Lies against it 

That's nothing I strive for 

What were left holding on to 

Is something neither of us want 

We're just two lonely hearts

Craving a place that makes us whole 

There's nothing I want more 

We found each other on the way 

Surely we'd be heading to the same place 

At least going in the same direction but 

It's a journey for Love Not lovers 

That's something we messed up 

If you're lacking completion 

It's something that you can't provide 

You just make it hurt more 

Ripping away at nothing there 

That's something I know now 

I'm sorry it had to be you 

I do love you I see me in your heart 

And I know we both deserve things that we lack 

It hurts knowing that I made you worse off 

It's something I would change 

It's time to stop extending 

A dead end has to have an end 

Even if it's painful 

Hurt has to come before healing 

That's a fact I won't fight

PROOF OF OUR LIES / no gain

Back then we told each other lies
Convincingly so we'd believe
I wish those lies had been the truth
Imagine the reunion that we'd have then.

But it's not, or is it that
the fact we lied so that we
would walk away and not look back.
Here we are, no better off;
proof of our lies, it's not okay.
As we cried, we gave our word
just so that we'd never get back
what was precious, now history.

Maybe we believed our words then.
We were hopeful and so naive.

But it's not, or is it that
the fact we lied so that we
would walk away and not look back.
Here we are, no better off;
proof of our lies, it's not okay.
As we cried, we gave our word
just so that we'd never get back
what was precious, now history.

We were all we had ever known
and we knew each other well;
villains and heroes over time.
We couldn't see life without us
always being intertwined.  

But it's not, or is it that
the fact we lied so that we
would walk away and not look back.
Here we are, no better off;
proof of our lies, it's not okay.
As we cried, we gave our word
just so that we'd never get back
what was precious, now history.

We carry, things like regret
If we hadn't lied we'd have the chance
To say things, now that we can't
Not postponing pain for no gain

Fairy Tales

 
A happy ending isn't guaranteed
Even in a fairy tale

Have you really read those tales?
Honestly, no one really wins.
No matter the perspective 
the darkness touches them all
at some point or it always lingers
at the end of the day...
Closing our eyes it finds us again

So why do we dream of love and endings 
That are like a fairy tale

I finally understand
jaded folks from my youth now gone,
I just don't know where or how.
Now I'm fulfilling a need
or just a worn out ditch that I find
society has made
a perfect fit like it's just for me.

I always thought that I had missed out but 
My whole life's a fairy tale 

I know because nothing lasts
I'm a dreamer in a nightmare that
I knowingly forced myself to stay in
The more you try the harder it gets 
Always trying to stay in the light 
But darkness is always there waiting
When I close my eyes ... Waiting
I close my eyes... Always
I close my eyes... Darkness
I close my eyes... 
I close my eyes...

Lies that you're told form your personal hell
Your camouflaged fairy tale 

And just like that...

Our parting ways has been coming
almost as soon as we started out.
There're people who thought that we had been done.
Standing here, I wish they were right.

Two people who look for ways to
one up the hurt the other causes
while claiming weak "I love you"'s,
we had to be insane. 

And just like that...
I'm done, I'm through,
I might love you still,
but I have to get over you

It's funny because it might seem 
like I was the one shutting you out,
but really you're the one who sealed the deal 
Sometime before I said no more

I won't be taken for a fool,
or wrong, advantage of, for granted; 
for my voice to be muted 
so yours only sounds clear.  

And just like that.. 
no more, it's done,
I might love you still,
but what does that mean in the end 

You went from not so crazy to
kinda crazy cute to "oh shit for real"...
To maybe this is seriously risky 
now did you REALLY threaten my mortality.

And just like that...
Stop. No. Desist!
I might love you still 
but this isn't what love should be. 

Love Won't Do (What We Need)

We allowed ourselves to build up walls/when we needed to stop and try to heal. We're no longer playing defense / we see nothing but offense.

Why are we always so shocked / at the head-on collision,/ it happens every time. I let love open doors / for you to come setting everything ablaze.

I try and / who knows why / I still cry / ev'ry time / It's no use / love won't do / what we need / it to do

Stop calling it a breakdown of romance; / breakdowns yes, but of other things. / Things like trust, respect, decency, basic things... / broke down like boundaries never put in place.

I guess if I was shady like you / I'd worry I'd get back like I've been giving/ afraid everyone could be the one / that's serving karma and fate.

It's funny you think I don't see / what you're doing, this routine / on repeat every week, / would you get some new material please / it's just sad honestly.

I try and / who knows why / I still cry / ev'ry time / It's no use / love won't do / what we need / it to do

Stop calling it a breakdown of romance; / breakdowns yes, but of other things. / Deflection, deception, deny and deny; are just more D's you say you aren't playing with.

We'll never heal doing the same thing / ignoring pain just to do it again. / You always apologize without feeling / making a cycle we'll just keep on repeating

I try and / who knows why / I still cry / ev'ry time / It's no use / love won't do / what we need / it to do

Stop calling it a breakdown of romance; / breakdowns yes, but of other things. / The fact you say I wasn't giving my all / when you won't show up to try says everything.