…Pretender

…Pretender

I won’t  show

Can’t say 

But i want you to 

Touch me 

Feel me 

Love me. 

What Is love

What is true

It just won’t do

Without you. 

Say it

Scream it 

Sing it

You don’t know how I feel for you. 

Why do I continue to feel like this 

You’re stuck to me like Velcro 

I feel you and I can relate 

Despite the foolishness and that one kiss 

I have so much to say don’t care 

Do you pretender 

I can’t know 

Today

What You need to do

See me

Need me

Please me. 

What is pain

And heartbreak 

I’m just a fool

Without you. 

Say it

Scream it 

Sing it

You don’t know how I feel for you. 

Why do I continue to feel like this 

You’re stuck to me like Velcro 

I feel you and I can relate 

Despite the foolishness and that one kiss 

I have so much to say don’t care 

Do you pretender 

Care to love me tender

I won’t go

I pray

You want me to say 

Want me

Hold me

Tease me

What is this 

Who are we

This is crazy

Without you 

Say it

Scream it 

Sing it

You don’t know how I feel for you. 

Why do I continue to feel like this 

You’re stuck to me like Velcro 

I feel you and I can relate 

Despite the foolishness and that one kiss 

I have so much to say don’t care 

Do you pretender 

Care to love me tender

And care to deliver

Do you pretender

Care to love me tender

Do you pretender 

Do you?

Gray

 Gray

I don’t exist between right or wrong 

I don’t live in terms of him or her

I don’t see things in black or white

I’m gray. 

I’m tired of labels

That are broad extremes 

That’s not where I live

That’s not who I am. 

I’m not trying to lie

To anyone

I never intended to

But I don’t exist 

In societal constructs 

I don’t exist between right or wrong 

I don’t live in terms of him or her

I don’t see things in black or white

I’m gray. 

 We’re told fables

That are just a means 

Of what we should give 

Into this bland world 

I no longer will try 

Just to blend in

I’ll do what I need to do

And will not resist 

No matter the mass reacts 

I don’t exist between right or wrong 

I don’t live in terms of him or her

I don’t see things in black or white

I’m gray. 

My XY chromosome 

Isn’t the be all of who I am

It doesn’t define my identity.

I don’t exist between right or wrong 

I don’t live in terms of him or her

I don’t see things in black or white

I’m gray. 

Being gay doesn’t fit it

Neither does any other thing

I’m living label less

In the gray.  

Fortissimo

 Fortissimo 

Despite you

Despite them

Despite everything 

I’m living life

Fortissimo. 

Trumpets blast 

Piccolos scream 

That young one says

Save me from repression. 

I might not know

Your note or key

But I’m here for you

In the difference 

In the silence

Everything echos

That you don’t want to hear

Live life proud and loud instead 

Despite you

Despite them

Despite everything 

I’m living life

Fortissimo. 

Sopranos soar

Above the rest

But your voice

Still deserves to be heard now

There’s nothing wrong

With who you are

Your presences shines

In your own unique way. 

In the darkness

We succumb to fear

So step into the light 

And let yourself radiate 

Despite you

Despite them

Despite everything 

I’m living life

So brilliantly. 

Despite you

Despite them

Despite everything 

I’m living life

Fortissimo. 

I Can Want It All I Want…

 

I’m here

Waiting for you

To accept me

To let me in 

The faggot 

The only one

Who knows me

Is me. 

Im too damaged 

For the fairytales 

I’m exhausted

These Fools have worn me out 

I can want it all I want

But I won’t ever know it 

I can want it all I want 

But it’s something that won’t fit

I can want it all I want

But true love will elude me  

I can want it all I want

But some things I’ll never see 

I stand

In the unknown

The bitter cold 

For your open

The bitter 

The lonely soul 

Right now here

Is me

These delusions

Wishes fantasies 

I’m done with it 

Happy endings are lies 

I can want it all I want

But I won’t ever know it 

I can want it all I want 

But it’s something that won’t fit

I can want it all I want

But true love will elude me  

I can want it all I want

But some things I’ll never see 

I remember being a teenager 

Thinking the fantasy was obtainable

But it’s not so I won’t 

Try anymore 

I’m done 

I can want it all I want

But I won’t ever know it 

I can want it all I want 

But it’s something that won’t fit

I can want it all I want

But true love will elude me  

I can want it all I want

But some things I’ll never see 

Prove me wrong

If you’re strong enough 

Prove me wrong 

Out of the Zone

 

I’m trying 

To put thought to word 

But it’s messy

Right now 

It translates to 

I wanna kill you 

But that’s wrong. 

I don’t wish you well

But I don’t want you alive 

I just want you gone

Out of the zone 

I just want you gone 

Out of the zone

Forgive me

If I’m being harsh

But that’s my soul

Bitter

And resentful 

I wanna kill you 

But that’s wrong 

I don’t want healing. 

If you can’t be suffering 

I just want you gone

Out of the zone 

I just want you gone 

Out of the zone

All my therapist does 

Is talk me down from

Taking karma in my hands 

It’s okay to be foul. 

Despite the healing 

A bad egg will always be 

I don’t wish you well

But I don’t want you alive 

I don’t want healing. 

If you can’t be suffering 

I just want you gone

Out of the zone 

I just want you gone 

Out of the zone

Why a Cat?

 Why a cat

Why have a cat I asked myself

Their perception is they are loners 

Much like me

They are opportunist 

Same as me

They are free willed

Just like me 

But they crave love

I’m the same

They want more 

I’m the same

They distrust men

I’m the same 

But give them comfort

And they do the same

If they feel peace

They return in kind

As you open up

They do the same. 

Why have a cat I asked myself

But now I have one I wouldn’t say

Not for me

She’s a tender lover 

Same as me

So whatever

Let’s be free 

Yet They want peace

I’m the same 

They want ease

I’m the same

They’ll give anything 

I’m the same 

But give them comfort

And they do the same

If they feel peace

They return in kind

As you open up

They do the same.

Felis catus

Quare Quare 

So why a cat

So why and why

But give them comfort

And they do the same

If they feel peace

They return in kind

As you open up

They do the same.