Unnecessarily
Unnecessarily I fought to keep us from ending, certain the collapse would shatter what was left of me. Instead— silence. A peace I haven’t known since knowing you. Was our love real, or just a byproduct of your mimicry in the light? Lately you can find me curled in confusion, reeling from what just happened or what might. I never thought I’d come so close to death. I tasted it. Twice. Like the base of your neck— scentless. Like the part in your eyes that never sparked. If there was love in you— for me, for anyone— it lived only as potential. I sit awake, lights blazing. I am afraid of myself. Gaslit enough to doubt even my own name. If you told me I was Mitchell Rodney, would I believe you? I wanted warning signs. I saw them. I didn’t understand them. A man at midlife without relations of any kind— should have been enough. I’ve learned my life was at least half a lie. The pictures only partially true. And I am not innocent. I am, too— an incomplete collection of painful venom, unnecess...