electric forest

No matter what I think, or say, or plan to do, it's always wrong. There's no pleasing you. I could document every time you disagree, make me feel dumb and foolish relentlessly. But it'd be easier to say everything, because that would cover anything. Every choice is another incoming fight. Even when I'm lucky and I'm right, somehow, for you, I did the right thing wrong. It doesn't matter when you leave it up to me. I'm an idiot who never gets you completely. The truth is, you believe I'm never good enough. Say what you want, but the evidence backs me up. It's demeaning to hear you call me fragile. Anything can shatter under enough pressure. If it's not how wrong I love, it's you claiming I don't communicate directly, or that I fail to anticipate your needs correctly. But tell me if I'm wrong. Whose preferences flip like light switches? How long I've known you doesn't matter when, despite your claims, everyt...

  I'm sitting here by myself It's too late to go out I hate being alone Because that's when everything that's wrong illuminates  Now I'm forced to look at myself  Overdue mirror work And wonder what to do  Now I've set myself free  We werent meant to be, probably  My friends all agree, but why Can't I be wrong for once  So I can act on this desire  To run find you And take you back I thought I was lonely then When youd stay out all night Or after a fight But at least then I knew that we'd always reunite I made the choice to shut you out You still try I deny Another go at it Why now am I so sure? We werent meant to be, possibly  My friends all agree, really Can't I be wrong for once So I can act on this desire To run find you Still wanting me I'm still sitting up late alone  I don't want to think of replacing you It feels like cheating  Why do you still hold my heart so tight When I know in reality  You never could hold it well ...

It's been a few days since we've spoken So it's been a few days since we've fought And now you're reaching out to me Wanting to come and see me I don't know if you should I have to say I really miss you Your absence leaves me feeling incomplete But the peace and calm these past few days Make recent choices worth this loneliness Every second chance was just another battle Loving you never was logical But the comfort of this reprieve Makes these changes obvious It's time to come undone If I'm supposed to be better off Then why am I resisting the change Every ignored call takes effort To seem like I just don't care I know that just isn't fair But what's fair has never been the point It doesn't matter now. You had your chance, To put the effort in to fix us I told you then but if you forgot it... I won't, can't, I refuse to do this anymore Loving you wasn't logical And neither was staying so long This p...

In the middle of a fight I say things I know will hurt you "I don't love you anymore!" A lie you'll never unhear Despite the fact we're textbook toxicity I've honestly never stopped loving you... Wanting you, needing you... Even getting hurt by you It's reached a point it physically hurts The bruises are now hands-free  I hate where we are I'm afraid to love you still Why did we let ourselves Become our worst nemesis Despite this being my point of view I'll say I'm Not pretending I'm a saint I'm ashamed the State made a case out of it And hate that I learned that lesson hurting you I'm better but I can't take that away Yet you stay, and I stay... Knowing full well we should stop Holding tight to fading memories Together just holding hands I hate where we are I'm afraid to love you still Why did we let ourselves Become our worst nemesis Even now you're miles away The state line between us  Is closer than the real distance...

I had suspicions... I'm a lovefool, but I'm weathered too Every time I voiced my fears, I was gaslit effortlessly Before I know it, I'm foolishly devoted to a con... a player Even through my adoring eyes I see y our words are... dubious So how do I find myself caught unaware With the conflicting lines, I got the truth half the time You were here getting even for things that were only your sins of thought I've heard of a preemptive strike But what you DO ... IT'S something new I'm left bewildered and confused End the war before I'm belligerent Strike First!  Obliterate, raze my heart with everyone If I wasn't so... brutalized by it I'd be in... awe The level of planning and imagining conspiracies If I hadn't gone through it, I'd say "Impossible!" How can you let someone love... you ... then ruin them for all time Of course I play the part you had set for me Armed with just suspicions, I acted out with vengeance ...