Cement

Moving forward and crashing into cement. 

Praying to a lord falling into the cement. 

Believing in love and finding the cement      

I gave it all and I’m here on the cement. 

A block 

An obstacle

Nothing a metaphorical jack hammer won’t fix

A pause

An illusion

That dreamers have when they want something better than this stitch 

Finding my feet

With every step

On the cement. 

Moving forward and crashing into cement. 

Praying to a lord falling into the cement. 

Believing in love and finding the cement      

I gave it all and I’m here on the cement. 

I’m stuck. 

With this idea 

Everything thing that you ever sold me is bullshit so

Hold on

These lies told

Are unforgiven and never forgotten  in these days

Moving forward and crashing into cement. 

Praying to a lord falling into the cement. 

Believing in love and finding the cement      

I gave it all and I’m here on the cement.

That’s What It’s Like When....

Worlds fall apart

Nothing remains the same

Memories fade away

Something becomes nothing. 

That’s what it’s like when I lost you

I’ve wanted to take my life a million times

Until time took yours

Watching the waves of tears and grief

I’d never want to willing inflict

There I was lost and barely a man

Wishing I had asked so many questions when I was able not like now

Yet here we are, I’m alive and you’re dead

Worlds fall apart

Nothing remains the same

Memories fade away

Something becomes nothing. 

That’s what it’s like when I lost you

And now a distance grows deep in our blood

Your family fades

Into corners of their own lives 

Until we’re strangers and ignore our past

Here I was trying to make you proud 

I wasn’t close but I was working on

Being the best me I could be

Yet here we are, still trying to make you proud

Worlds fall apart

Nothing remains the same

Memories fade away

Something becomes nothing. 

That’s what it’s like when I lost you

There’s a bitterness

When a son doesn’t hear his father say

He’s proud of him

When it’s not his fault 

Dementia took you before death could

What’s left for him

Worlds fall apart

Nothing remains the same

Memories fade away

Something becomes nothing. 

That’s what it’s like when I lost you

Nothing Else Matters

Nothing else matters

Than you and I

When the time is right

We will bathe in the light

Of truth, it’s only you. 

Until then, I’ll struggle 

To find you, the one 

Let me sing a song of hope

Let me say a prayer to you

That one day this fantasy

Will be true

Let me hope for better days

Let me wish belief in you 

That one day this fantasy

Will be true

What is this

Who are we 

An illusion 

That I would give anything for. 

Nothing else matters

Than you and I

When the time is right

We will bathe in the light

Of truth, it’s only you. 

Only then, I’ll find peace

Just with you, my love

Let me ask where are you now 

Let me know that you would be mine

That one day this fantasy

Will be mine

Let me become one with you

Let me understand what is you

That one day this fantasy 

Will be mine 

What’s the truth

In the lies 

An illusion

That I would give anything for

Nothing else matters

Than you and I

When the time is right

We will bathe in the light

Of truth, it’s only you. 

Only then, I’ll find peace

Just with you, my love

But who are are you

I do not know 

A fantasy I keep alive

In my head but

Nothing else matters

Than you and I

When the time is right

We will bathe in the light

Of truth, it’s only you. 

Only then, I’ll find peace

Just with you, my love

Drops

Drops

Beautiful ideas

Of happily ever after

But you’re a villain

Who only cares for yourself

So now what’s for real

Fading memories of laugher 

So you’re a villain 

I’m waking up, nothing left 

These lies

Drop in my life

Like they should be here

I say goodbye 

The truth is

We can still be happy every day

But then it comes

The pain drops

Here it is 

You’re a lie in every thing you say. 

And then it comes

The pain drops. 

And then we adjust

To the bullshit we got handed 

It is what it is

Screw the obligatory 

Why should I be first

I’m not someone who just landed 

You should Forget these fantasies 

These words 

Drop from my mouth

Just Like they should have 

I say hello 

The truth is

We can still be happy every day

But then it comes

The pain drops

Here it is 

You’re a lie in every thing you say. 

And then it comes

The pain drops. 

No matter how good it is

Yesterday and today

I’m waiting for bad news to drop

It always does

Everyone says

Don’t get your hope up. 

The truth is

We can still be happy every day

But then it comes

The pain drops

Here it is 

You’re a lie in every thing you say. 

And then it comes

The pain drops. 

Want Love

I want love

I’ve been abused and misused  

And I still want love

But do I want it from you

Are you worthy 

Are you worth my time

I don’t know and right now

I don’t care

It’s up to you now

To prove your worth 

I’m worn out from this shit

Don’t you dare

To feign the idea 

Of love

I see through it all

The lies and fantasies

Where do we cut it off

I want love

I’ve been abused and misused  

And I still want love

But do I want it from you

So i deserve 

Love from someone new

Just between me and you 

Fuck it all

Nothing is with it

Love is a lie

And so is our fate now

Don’t you dare 

To dream an idea

Of love

I see through it all

The lies and fantasies

Where do we cut it off

Toxicity. In the air

Rancid, love affairs 

Falling out of love

I want love

I’ve been abused and misused  

And I still want love

But do I want it from you 

I Won’t Give Up

I’m screaming for help

But you’re just scrolling through

I’m sorry my dilemma 

Isn’t worthy of your attention

How many ways can I say

Help me

Save me

Forgive me

Am I worthy

I’d rather die

Than to hear your response

Emotionally 

I’m at the bottom

Trying to climb up

Spiritually 

I’ve nothing to give 

But I won’t give up 

This is a warning

Have I cried wolf too much?

Every day is a chance to

Say goodbye if you’d just ever care

I’m curious what else to say 

Love me

Want me

Need me

What is worthy 

Inside your eyes

Why’m I still unworthy

Emotionally 

I’m at the bottom

Trying to climb up

Spiritually 

I’ve nothing to give 

But I won’t give up 

Checking myself 

And finding myself

I’m not unworthy

Facing myself

And loving myself

I’m not unworthy. 

Emotionally 

I’m at the bottom

Trying to climb up

Spiritually 

I’ve nothing to give 

But I won’t give up 

Devour

The things you don’t know

You’ll never see

They’re killing me

I’ll jump off a bridge

Just to be free

The things you don’t know

You’ll never see

They’re killing me 

The pain, the anxiety 

The thing you can’t understand

The darkness eating me inside out

The lies, what they said was true

Illusions, is what you told me 

You don’t understand what’s eating me

Devouring

It’s devouring

It’s devouring me

It’s devouring me and

It’s devouring me and you

So just what is pure

What’s bullshit?

It’s killing me

I’ll end all of it

To release me

Of the right and wrong 

I regret that 

I let them in

The lies, the realizations

The confusion while you

Put it together and understand 

The pain, while still loving you. 

Fantasies,  that won’t come true here

No one knows what is torturing me

Devouring

It’s devouring

It’s devouring me

It’s devouring me and

It’s devouring me and you

Alive

Eating me alive

Sucking

My soul from me

Taking

Me from myself

Lying

While I do the same

Devouring

It’s devouring

It’s devouring me

It’s devouring me and

It’s devouring me and you

Unworthy

I want love

But I’m unworthy

My last experiences have told me

On the matter

But I want it

I desire

I need it

Days and days of solitude

Enjoying nothing but myself

It’s wonderful 

Continually my refuge

I found steel peace with just myself 

Oh how blissful. 

I’m happy but incomplete

Can anyone complete the feat 

Of closing the circle and completing me?

I want love

But I’m unworthy

My last experiences have told me

On the matter

But I want it

I desire

I need it

Dreams and dreams of fantasy

Waking up hoping it was real 

Not so forgetful

My goal I can’t ever see

Emotions I will never feel

It’s so painful. 

I’m alive but seeking more

Wide eyed but still empty inside 

Can anyone fill me with what I’m missing ?

I want love

But I’m unworthy

My last experiences have told me

On the matter

But I want it

I desire

I need it

Unworthy.    That’s what I tell me

Incomplete.   That’s how I feel now

And worn out, is how they left me. 

I need to rest, I’m tired

I’ve given so much of myself 

Cant appreciate? I’ll reevaluate! 

I want love

But I’m unworthy

My last experiences have told me

On the matter

But I want it

I desire

I need it

Don’t Get In My Way

I tossed your Tiffany engagement ring

Somewhere in Delaware

As if I cared. 

I was running away

I had nothing to say 

You weren’t right for me

I still had the world to see

Stop, yield.  

Don’t merge in my lane 

I’m waiting for the signal to change

Don’t get in my way

So much wasted time

I’ve ran out of words to rhyme

You’re no good for me

And I’m better off... without you

You thought in the beginning you’d blind me

But my eyes adjusted 

To what was true. 

I was finding myself

Without anything left

You captured my past 

Thinking i would never last 

No, don’t,

You’re not worth my time 

I’m waiting for a chance to rise now

Don’t get in my way

So much wasted time

I’ve ran out of words to rhyme

You’re no good for me

And I’m better off... without you

Continual disappointments

In the name of “love”

But I’m a stubborn Taurus

Don’t get in my way

So much wasted time 

I forget to question why

I struggle with it

Why I’m better off...  without you

A Moment of Clarity

I see the truth

For what it is

I wasn’t good enough yet I still am

You lied on everything 

A perfect husband

A good lover

You never lived up 

To any of those promises. 

These moments of truth we said

Foolish dreams that I chased too long for you 

The truth and the lies

It’s neither here or there 

Now I’m aware of it  

A moment of clarity

Even if it doesn’t make sense right now. 

The truth and the lies

Behind your fantasy

I’m finally awake. 

I know the truth

And here it is

No one is ever good enough still I

Try and try and try

Notice me see me realize

I’m good enough

I refuse to believe it now

The old lies that held my self esteem down 

For better or worse

You words do not matter

Now that I know they’re fake 

A moment of clarity

Even if it doesn’t make sense right now. 

The truth and the lies

Behind your fantasy

I’m finally awake.