In The New Year

 In the New Year

I’ve spent the 21st century

Being bitter

The victim 

Even if it’s all my fault 

I’m trying now

To right my wrongs 

Things I shouldn’t care

About but here I am

Drowning in the misery

I just want to break

The tide and breathe

And be free

 

In the new year 

I let it go

Everything

The negativity 

And be me

I was jaded so long I can’t tell

Was I right then

And abused 

No one here deserves this bliss

I’m crying why 

Love’s done me wrong 

Yet here I am fair 

And strong I’m just for you. 

Living with the fairytales

All I want is life 

Just let me be

To be seen

In the new year 

I let it go

Everything

The negativity 

And be me

Twenty twenty something 

Who what and then when

Are we, baby

Right then right now that song

Is a memory

Really, baby 

In the new year 

I let it go

Everything

The negativity 

And be me

Like God?

 Like God

I see you there

Suffering and alone

Come here 

Let me give you comfort 

But it isn’t free

A crave to know your darkness

And the emptiness you live in

I’m not unfamiliar 

But my name 

My true name 

Might be a lie 

If I’m like God

Why do I want to see

The world burn

Souls turned inside out 

Is it because he’s vengeful

And spiteful

Just like me

Or am I a twisted allegory

Of what pure and righteous 

 

I would raise hell

To understand myself 

I love

Anyone that wants that

Thing we are chasing 

It isn’t righteous this quest

But it’s honest and unholy 

It’s faithful to myself

The real me

The true me

Is incomplete 

If I’m like God

Why do I want to see

The world burn

Souls turned inside out 

Is it because he’s vengeful

And spiteful

Just like me

Or am I a twisted allegory

Of what pure and righteous 

Here we are playing analogies 

With my name and a god

I just want to know 

Is he okay or doomed to hell

Or is all that theology 

Just a crock of lies 

Let it burn

Let em suffer

I’ll be bitter

Until the end of time 

If I’m like God

Why do I want to see

The world burn

Souls turned inside out 

Is it because he’s vengeful

And spiteful

Just like me

Or am I a twisted allegory

Of what pure and righteous 

Redux

 Redux

When I was a child

I craved the world

At my fingertips

What ambition

Naive 

I’ve been great but 

Then nothing

And back again

It’s a redux

My life

Up and down

And up again 

It’s a redux

The price

Good and bad

And good again 

When I was so wild 

I craved it all

Ears hearing my lips 

That motivation 

Just lies

I told myself

And believed

Foolishly

It’s a redux

My life

Up and down

And up again 

It’s a redux

The price

Good and bad

And good again 

The eternal return

Of a fantasy

The revival

In a dream

That will never come

The redux

We sell ourselves

We all can dream

And make believe 

For all of time

It’s a redux

My life

Up and down

And up again 

It’s a redux

The price

Good and bad

And good again 

Alright

 Alright

I don’t need you

I don’t love you

But here you are

In my life 

Unnecessarily 

A January consequence 

An unwanted pretext. 

Truly undesired 

Throw a palm up

And say goodbye

Alright  

You didn’t know me 10 seconds ago 

And you don’t know me now 

I’m a spirit you wished you had known

I’m a legend that legendary people speak of 

But now

…. That’s cute

…. Immature 

Face the facts 

I don’t need you

I don’t love you

But here you are

In my life 

Unnecessarily 

A January consequence 

An unwanted pretext. 

Truly undesired 

Throw a palm up

And say goodbye

Alright  

Play a fool the tool  and rule. 

Come this hear coming

Tomorrow is yesterdays lie

I don’t know where this is going 

But I know where it ends 

ああああ

Lips, eyes 

Touch, kiss 

ああああ

Love, trust

Feel, lust 

ああああ

Give me something. 

Beyond the twilight

A moment that’s ours 

Beyond the carnal

And the here and now 

But you can’t

You’re a beast 

A machine 

And here I am

Wanting something more than that

But here I am

Living my life with that kind of fact 

Lips, eyes 

Touch, kiss 

ああああ

Love, trust

Feel, lust 

ああああ

Show me truly. 

What is love alright 

And what it means here

For us fools trying 

To fight for something. 

I’m a man

Trying to

Understand 

So here it is

I want more than a love song

And here it is

I’m living on to be my best 

Lips, eyes 

Touch, kiss 

ああああ

Love, trust

Feel, lust 

ああああ

Needs

ああああ

Desire

ああああ

Wants

ああああ

This fire

ああああ

Lips, eyes 

Touch, kiss 

ああああ

Love, trust

Feel, lust 

ああああ

Suffocating (in your loving embrace)

I wanted someone like you

So long I thought the chance was gone

But here you are 

Attending to my every need

I crave touch and intimacy 

But something about you isn’t filling

Me with the things I want to feel 

Hold me close

Hold me tight 

Until i can’t breathe 

Hold me here 

Hold me dear

Until I can’t see. 

Now I’m here

In your arms 

Suffocating 

In your loving embrace 

So I’m here 

In your arms

Suffocating 

In your loving embrace 

In the darkness I craved you 

The desire to turn me on 

Lust that’s on par

Following the emotional lead 

I wanted truth and honesty 

But you are here now being unwilling 

To be the one to give me feeling

Hold me near

Hold with might 

Until I can’t breath

Hold me now

Hold me right

Until I can’t see. 

Now I’m here

In your arms 

Suffocating 

In your loving embrace 

So I’m here 

In your arms

Suffocating 

In your loving embrace 

So just hold me

Close, tight, here, dear

Until I can’t breathe

So just hold me 

Near, light, now, right

Until I can’t see

With the might alright. 

Now I’m here

In your arms 

Suffocating 

In your loving embrace 

So I’m here 

In your arms

Suffocating 

In your loving embrace 

Lapse In Judgement

It’s the eleventh hour

On fifth day

Of a week of Mondays 

I’m tired and done

With everything 

Except that one thing 

I crave the satisfaction. 

The gratification. 

And the interaction. 

But I try

I cry

I want you. 

But why you

I’m tired

Why though.

You’ve nothing to offer 

Why you

A lapse of judgement 

When the tired mind

Meets the tireless beast

That is dangerous

Just a lust that leads to

A lapse of judgement 

We’re days past sanity 

Beyond good sense 

Where any idea’s good 

But they are not 

Worth another

Thought but still I do 

I desire the pleasure 

That lovely treasure 

Enjoying each measure 

And I try

I lie 

I want to. 

But it’s you

I’m done

Why do 

You show up here again

Why you

A lapse of judgement 

When the tired mind

Meets the tireless beast

That is dangerous

Just a lust that leads to

A lapse of judgement 

Once upon a time In an age

Circa two thousand and three

I’d be your boy toy simple pleasure

But I’m grown and you’re shrinking

In size and voice

It’s alright. 

Goodbye 

The future isn’t 

A lapse of judgement 

When the tired mind

Meets the tireless beast

That is dangerous

Just a lust that leads to

A lapse of judgement 

Greatness Erupts

 Greatness Erupts

I try to find myself

In the light of the darkness 

I want to be myself 

In the world of emptiness 

Let me be myself 

Queer and insecure 

Let me find myself

Brave and self aware 

Let me love myself 

Flawed and shining 

Give me everything 

In the light or dark

Even in the silence 

Greatness Erupts

I want it all so

In the pure or bitter 

And the dumb ignorance 

Greatness erupts 

I’m here alone asking 

What is this and who am I 

I want to understand 

Personification 

Raise me up so

I can be the one 

Who’s a hero and true 

Unaware of you 

Who’s a champion 

Raw and trying 

Give me everything 

In the light or dark

Even in the silence 

Greatness Erupts

I want it all so

In the pure or bitter 

And the dumb ignorance 

Greatness erupts 

Love me need me

Caress me neck 

And feel my heartbeat 

Play it dumb son

For heaven sake

Don’t mistake my treat 

Give me everything 

In the light or dark

Even in the silence 

Greatness Erupts

I want it all so

In the pure or bitter 

And the dumb ignorance 

Greatness erupts