THE GAME

 THE GAME

CAREFUL now don’t get hurt

You’re PLAYING at things you don’t understand

But I recognize what’s at hand

I was THE ONE that made it a thing

It’s okay to TRY this out

It’s FUN, but not for everyone 

You seem ready, SO SURE, but…

What ya know about THE GAME

I WROTE THE BOOK 

I’m the standard 

What ya know about the game

I set the stage

I’m the BLUEPRINT

Don’t underestimate 

My understanding of your moves right now

I knew how this ends at the start

You’d be FOOLISH to CHALLENGE me

It’s cool to PUSH yourself 

It’s great to try and LEVEL UP

You’ve got skill, EGO, but…

What ya know about the game

I am the first 

I’m STILL the face

What ya know about the game

I did the work

I’m your IDOL

Did you not STUDY up first

How could you miss a CRUCIAL piece

Like who I am, what I… do?

What ya know about the game?

I am THE WHY

I live your DREAM

What ya know about the game?

I’m what they want 

I’m everything 

Where Is It?

 Where Is It?

These feeling I shouldn’t have 

Make me not want to breathe

Just the thought of you not with me

Makes me choke up, what’s wrong with me

I’d rather die than feel like this 

Maybe it’d be different in another life

Instead of your double one

That I walked into

Eyes open and knowing 

Where’s this stop, does it start to end?

Where’s the line where this isn’t okay

Where’s the sign that my hearts been broke 

Where’s my cue to know I’ve gone too deep

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it, damn it?

I know how bad this will end

I’m here and don’t know why

As no sex beats the souls anguish

That’s bound to be conceived in this 

Am I a sadomasochist?

What about you, in the end where do you land?

Safely on the other side?

Not broke with me…

Did you know this before…

…you got me into this. 

Where’s this stop, does it start to end?

Where’s the line where this isn’t okay

Where’s the sign that my hearts been broke 

Where’s my cue to know I’ve gone too deep

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it, damn it?

You are the right mix of danger and toxicity 

To make me forget every bit of decorum 

You’ve unknowingly already wounded my heart

And I’m still here wanting to be dumb and hold your hand. 

What’s sad is the lies a lie too

We’re just too fucked up to admit

That in the end none of this was real

So did any of it happen anyway? 

Where’s this stop, does it start to end?

Where’s the line where this isn’t okay

Where’s the sign that my hearts been broke 

Where’s my cue to know I’ve gone too deep

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it, damn it?

I know it isn’t fair to just blame you, I’m complicit too!

But as I write notes for my mother…

About how I want my funeral to play out 

It’s the first time that I find some genuine joy when you cross my mind. 

To Know You Sober

 To Know You Sober

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

To understand someone I’ll never know

Although I know the husk and ghost intimately 

The meaty, juicy bits have all withered away

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

Maybe save you from pain that drug you here

Or maybe you could be the one that saves me yet

We’ll never know as they are thing that won’t happen

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

See someone with seemingly everything 

And witness them throw all that away and for what

To know what caused the pain that left those scare you hide 

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

To see those beautiful eyes full of life

And not hollowed out from not believing in hope

I shudder and try to understand my misery

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

And as I reminisce about the past

I wish we had a chance to meet back then but why

Bother fantasizing about things that won’t be 

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

Before this began with feelings over

Back when I cared and gave out empathy freely 

Before I knew you and thought about what I missed.