But I Doubt It

After all this time

I don’t need to find anyone

I’m trying to find me

After years of searching I’ve realized 

I’ll always crave more than anyone can give me

Now that I have this knowledge

What will I do with my life. 

Maybe someone out there is worthy

But I doubt it

There could be someone I could marry 

But I doubt it

All the guys before could be bad luck

But I doubt it

Maybe my love life isn’t in a rut 

But I doubt it

I gave love faith

That it’s truth one day would find me

But now I don’t believe. 

That “the one” could exist for anyone 

From now on I won’t forsake myself for that lie

I would rather die alone

What will I do with my life 

Maybe someone out there is worthy

But I doubt it

There could be someone I could marry 

But I doubt it

All the guys before could be bad luck

But I doubt it

Maybe my love life isn’t in a rut 

But I doubt it

Everything you’re told about love is false

Just fairy tales that only can mislead the young 

One day life will break their heart 

And become jaded like me

Maybe someone out there is worthy

But I doubt it

There could be someone I could marry 

But I doubt it

All the guys before could be bad luck

But I doubt it

Maybe my love life isn’t in a rut 

But I doubt it

Able

You spent so many years trying to get in my pants

And soon after I did finally let you in

I found out you were a huge waste of time

Let me tell you the story about a man

Who coveted what wasn’t his

Always in my inbox when I was with someone else

I shamefully entertained his dalliances

Because I didn’t know better then 

He claims to be a religious man

I hope he prays for forgiveness

For all the wrongs he gave me

I’m sure I’m not the only one 

You were quick to place your bet

And as a fool I let you sit 

At the table that could make you able 

You set me up so you’re set 

Enough to feed your needy get

I gave you permission to be able. 

You didn’t belong here 

You never did

I was a fool to let you in. 

After all those years and recent months I caught feelings 

Then you said that you couldn’t do the same for me

No wonder at your age your still alone 

I should have known from the start that you were false 

But I was hopeful you would 

be my last I was a fool to believe that 

I could never have you when I couldn’t never 

Have your love I wasn’t good enough. 

He said that he was a better man

But yet he’s still more of the same 

Yet He said he good for me 

But he lied so what else is new. 

You were quick to place your bet

And as a fool I let you sit 

At the table that could make you able 

You set me up so you’re set 

Enough to feel your needy get

I gave you permission to be able. 

You didn’t belong here 

You never did

I was a fool to let you in. 

The Next Move

I’m here at the precipice

Should I take a nose dive

Or slowly scale myself down

I’m cautiously waiting for your next move

I’m waiting for evidence

This choice could be my life

Or could be my final sound 

I’m still anticipating your next move 

At this point in my life I Dance the dance 

I follow your every move but I won’t proceed

Unless you make the next move

I’ll give you the option to envelop

But I’ve been burnt too many times to let you in 

Unless you make the next move.

You present a good option

Without saying a word 

I question my own thoughts now. 

I’m cautiously waiting for your next move

So what is your opinion

On lusting and then on love 

And does it make you ask how. 

I’m still anticipating your next move

At this point in my life I Dance the dance 

I follow your every move but I won’t proceed

Unless you make the next move

I’ll give you the option to envelop

But I’ve been burnt too many times to let you in 

Unless you make the next move.

I don’t know what it is

Swing to the left

Shake to the right

What is the next move

At this point in my life I Dance the dance 

I follow your every move but I won’t proceed

Unless you make the next move

I’ll give you the option to envelop

But I’ve been burnt too many times to let you in 

Unless you make the next move.

Build An Empire

I’m building an empire
For myself to enjoy
And if my success can inspire
You can bask in my joy

No ones going to do it for me
I’ve got to make it on my own
No more waiting on a prince to rescue me
I’ve always been here all on my own
Time to buck up and let you see
I’m not trapped in my past I’m finally free

I’m building an empire
For no one else but me
With no room there for a liar
Where it’s all about me.

I’m setting out on an unknown journey
I will conquer and dominate
My own destiny.

It’s in the here and now I take it
The thing that I always gave up
My life is mine to make great as I see fit
And You’re not involve to fuck it up
If I fail I’ll have to own it
But I won’t, I don’t even need any kind of luck

I’m building an empire
Only because I can
And if it sets the world on fire
Its a fire that I’ll flame

Hormonal

I live in an insular world
Alone with my thoughts and feelings
But what I feel can’t be owned
There has to be more out there like me\

I’m trying to seek things that just don’t exist
I’m beyond my feelings at this point.

I wish I could emote my feelings beyond a high school level
But with hormones I think that’s sadly were peaked.
Or maybe we all still live on that excessive hormonal level
Or I wish we did or maybe I still do.

I’m still begging for some feeling
I don’t know exists anymore.
My vocabulary lacks
The words that can express how I feel

You have no idea what goes on in my head
And maybe soon I will go insane

I wish I could emote my feelings beyond a high school level
But with hormones I think that’s sadly were peaked.
Or maybe we all still live on that excessive hormonal level
Or I wish we did or maybe I still do.

I’m hyper emotional
Or either your emotionally dead
I don’t have the time, energy or want to find out
Where you stand
You make me question these things
Was it me was it you does it matter
Maybe it’s not you... I only know my own focus 

I wish I could emote my feelings beyond a high school level
But with hormones I think that’s sadly were peaked.
Or maybe we all still live on that excessive hormonal level
Or I wish we did or maybe I still do.

Rewrite My Destiny

I want more than this life I’m living can give
Even despite all that I want to live.
There has to be something more out there
Than this mediocrity I’ve found so fair.

I won’t settle. Won’t give up
Even if every choice is a failure
I’ll take it to peruse my happiness.

I’m ready to rewrite my destiny
Rejecting risk of apathy
To my own life. This seems right.
I’m ready to rewrite my destiny
Not giving up on fantasy
And all my dreams. This seems right.

I’m trying to break free of the trappings of
All of my past mistakes and misplaced love
I’m still haunted by that hurt and pain
But there has to be something out there to gain

I won’t let go. Or give in
To the negativity in my life.
I’ll be positive and still not think twice

I’m ready to rewrite my destiny
And I don’t need your empathy.
My will is strong. I’ll be alright.
I’m ready to rewrite my destiny
All I want now is ecstasy.
Love is my drug. It’s in sight.

To the all the men in my life
The failures, cheaters, and missed opportunities
I’m still here with or without you and you will deal

I’m ready to rewrite my destiny
Rejecting risk of apathy
To my own life. This seems right.
I’m ready to rewrite my destiny
Not giving up to fantasy
And all my dreams. This seems right.
I’m ready to rewrite my destiny
And I don’t need your empathy.
My will is strong. I’ll be alright.
I’m ready to rewrite my destiny
All I want now is ecstasy.
Love is my drug. It’s in sight.