STRIKE FIRST

I had suspicions... I'm a lovefool, but I'm weathered too
Every time I voiced my fears, I was gaslit effortlessly
Before I know it,
I'm foolishly devoted to a con... a player
Even through my adoring eyes I see y our words are... dubious

So how do I find myself caught unaware
With the conflicting lines, I got the truth half the time
You were here getting even for things
that were only your sins of thought

I've heard of a preemptive strike
But what you DO... IT'S something new
I'm left bewildered and confused
End the war before I'm belligerent
Strike First!  Obliterate, raze my heart with everyone

If I wasn't so... brutalized by it I'd be in... awe
The level of planning and imagining conspiracies
If I hadn't gone through it, I'd say
"Impossible!"
How can you let someone love...
you... then ruin them for all time

Of course I play the part you had set for me Armed with just suspicions, I acted out with vengeance
You'd confirm, deny...
Either way you made sure they WOULD take root in me 

I've heard of a preemptive strike
But what you DO, IT'S something new
I'm left bewildered and confused
End the war before I'm belligerent
Strike First! Obliterate, raze my heart with everyone

Even my closest, longest, confidants
Only saw the victim you made yourself
Now I'm here on my own
Brokenhearted... NO... emotionally eviscerated
No trust left or friends
Just unimaginable pain
when you enter my brain

I've heard of a preemptive strike
But what you DID... WHO RUINED YOU?
I'm left... ... numb ... ... dumb
End ... war? ... ... I'm belligerent
Strike First!  Strike ... First??? Pain.   A memory when I could feel.