Rely On

I could be the one to dethrone you

Discard your party to the wind

But you don’t play fair

And I don’t want to get dirty. 

But I will

To defend my honor

If you start slinging mud

I’ll go ape and start slinging shit

I could tell stories of generations past

Family secrets you don’t want told

It doesn’t matter if it’s truth or lies 

All you need is someone to rely

On... lean on depend on rely on. 

You could be the one to improve it

All but could you sit in that seat

Except it is...

Nothing you want but everyone craves 

Yet I do

To establish myself. 

If you don’t want me here

My words will slash you ear to ear. 

I could tell you how everyone lies but I won’t

You can figure it out for yourself. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s truth or lies 

All you need is someone to rely

On... lean on depend on rely on. 

I’m seeking representation 

If you aren’t the one

One day I will usurp you

Blood on the right side of history 

It doesn’t matter if it’s truth or lies 

All you need is someone to rely

On... lean on depend on rely on.

Dogwood Blooms

I’m not alone in this

Wanting something more than solitude

A dogwood blooms and fades away 

Forgotten until the next year. 

I need something more than

A hand on my shoulder

A connection that lasts

Past these fleeting moments 

Give me more than a promise

Be the one who is the only 

I don’t want you to come and go

Whoever you are

I’m not alone in this

Wanting something more than solitude

A dogwood blooms and fades away 

Forgotten until the next year. 

In the spring I met you 

And then gone by winter 

You couldn’t be my love 

Because you couldn’t  do it 

At this point I beyond this 

I just don’t want to deal with it

I love you and still  I hate you 

Whoever you are. 

I’m not alone in this

Wanting something more than solitude

A dogwood blooms and fades away 

Forgotten until the next year. 

It’s a promise of spring 

You blossomed with opportunity 

Yet you wilted with the summer heat 

I’m looking for something more than that. 

I’m not alone in this

Wanting something more than solitude

A dogwood blooms and fades away 

Forgotten until the next year. 

Some Things I Want To Say

Before I say goodbye

There are some things I want to say

I’ve hated you but I forgive you

I lied to you cause I thought I’d protect you, That was foolish

There are a lot of lies about me

Never accept a truth from someone’s ex without further investigation. 

I’m not dying tomorrow

I might be out of your life soon

Before I say goodbye

There are some things I want to say 

I can’t say that I’ve never cheated 

He was my first love, I was just following his example 

I’ll admit I was lost at one point

But I’ve found myself and made my peace before I go but I’ve still got to say. 

I can’t deny all my lies

But they say the truth sets you free

I’m not dying tomorrow

I might be out of your life soon

Before I say goodbye

There are some things I want to say 

I’m sorry

I love you

I miss you

I forgive you 

I’m still good

I’m okay 

I’m at peace

I can own it

At the end of time

I have found my salvation

I can’t deny all my lies

But they say the truth sets you free

I’m not dying tomorrow

I might be out of your life soon

Before I say goodbye

There are some things I want to say 

Sins Of My Father

No matter how wrong it was

He thought it was right

I accept the sins of my father. 

I’ve seen the love letters a married man wrote to his second wife

I’ve seen a man with undiagnosed mental disorders in life 

I’ve been the victim of my fathers love and illness

Yet here I stand.   To tell the tale.   Will anyone believe it. 

If I was aware of it then like I am now

I’d say it to his face.   But his self was erased.

No matter how wrong it was

He thought it was right

I accept the sins of my father. 

It’s easy to count his transgressions towards what should be holiness.  

I spent my youth hating him, being born too late, knowing too much. 

Despite it all I love him, he’s all I ever knew 

His adultery,  psychosis, could you even accept these facts 

I was too young then to understand it back then 

I could scream how unfair it is but no one cares. 

No matter how wrong it was

He thought it was right

I accept the sins of my father. 

Because I am a sin of my father

A blessing to my mother

Sunshine to a family 

With a dying member.

I was born in the worst of times it made no sense 

And despite it all we’re all better off for it. 

No matter how wrong it was

He thought it was right

I accept the sins of my father. 

The Unobtainable

This is silly

All I want is to be left alone

And life to be romanticized. 

The lies and how you lay with me

Prove my fears were always right 

Every fairy tale we want to believe 

Every Fantasy our parents sold us

Are unobtainable 

The reflections that we all want to see

The desires that cause us such a fuss. 

Are unobtainable

Find your peace and comfort

I’ll find my inner bliss

Accepting the unobtainable. 

I was dumb

And naive thinking you cares for me 

Back then you had the best of me

I’m jaded now here in your wake

I was bitter for so long

But now I’m calm and awake to the facts

Dreams of the future you tried to sell me

Are unobtainable 

I saw the light with your betraying acts 

The hopes for future you once said could be

Are unobtainable 

Find your peace and comfort

I’ll find my inner bliss

Accepting the unobtainable. 

With you

It’s unobtainable with you

Yet someone else could come along and prove 

It’s only you and your lies you told that 

Are unobtainable 

Find your peace and comfort

I’ll findmy inner bliss

Accepting the unobtainable. 

Call An Exorcist

You ghosted me months ago

I was over it, time moves on

Then one day, you reached out

Wanting to explain yourself 

I was listening, and waiting 

Where are you?  I’m waiting 

I gave you the chance to explain

But your actions said everything 

I’m not sad or angry but

This needs to be said

Call an exorcist

When a ghost speaks out 

Call an exorcist

When a ghost acts up

Call an exorcist

When a ghost appears 

I’m glad I’m not still waiting 

I wasn’t dumb, I lost faith 

Wasted words, wasted time 

And I don’t care anymore

It’s your loss, I’m okay

Letting go... feels so good

I was willing to hear you out

But I’m not hearing anything 

I’m at peace all with this but

This needs to be said. 

Call an exorcist

When a ghost speaks out 

Call an exorcist

When a ghost acts up

Call an exorcist

When a ghost appears 

You appeared with no warning

I was caught off guard

And for a moment I opened up

But you left as soon as you came

I expel you like every other demon in my life

Call an exorcist

When a ghost speaks out 

Call an exorcist

When a ghost acts up

Call an exorcist

When a ghost appears 

Call an exorcist 

I Won’t Be Your One Night Stand

Here I am

In my entirety

Let it be known

I won’t be your one night stand

I deserve more

Than your foolish behavior

Faceless profiles and random dick pics

I’m not a prude

But your assumptions are rude

You’re hot but have nothing to offer

I’m too old to seek another

Notch in my headboard

I’ve lost count already

So what else can you offer?

Here I am

In my entirety

Let it be known

I won’t be your one night stand

Here’s my truth

That I was once that guy

Never again

I won’t be your one night stand

I was that guy 

That never would question why 

I’m aware of what you all could say. 

Legs in the air

Your assessment would be fair

But I’m just not that man anymore

I’ve had enough of basic tryst 

Without a future

No shame on your life but

I’m looking for more than that 

Here I am

In my entirety

Let it be known

I won’t be your one night stand

Here’s my truth

That I was once that guy

Never again

I won’t be your one night stand

It’s not you

I’m just doing me

You’re not needed

I won’t be your one night stand

Morals, standards, and higher ground

Nothing against those in that phase

But I’m not there anymore. 

Here I am

In my entirety

Let it be known

I won’t be your one night stand

Here’s my truth

That I was once that guy

Never again

I won’t be your one night stand

It’s not you

I’m just doing me

You’re not needed

I won’t be your one night stand

You could be

More than my everything

I can’t do it 

I won’t be your one night stand.