A Dream Has Died Tonight

 A Dream Has Died Tonight

I went against everyone’s advice 

And fell in love

Specifically with you 

I didn’t care if they knew better 

I just want it 

And only if with you 

As much as I didn’t want to say it

I might deny it later still

The joy I’ve been manifesting 

Won’t happen with you 

No matter how much i will it

There’s no proper goodbye here

No story book redemption

I have to cut it off 

One day I hope you admit 

You know why a dream has died tonight 

I ignored everyone and my gut

Never stopping 

Believing in you but 

You never could prove them wrong could you 

So defiant 

Despite what you told me 

I cry putting it in black and white now 

I could break saying it out loud 

My love for you still fooling me

That you still want this 

A lie I’ll die denying why

There’s no proper goodbye here

No story book redemption

I have to cut it off 

One day I hope you admit 

You know why a dream has died tonight 

Governments and God promoting men

Couldn’t stop me from trying still

Yet you fail to admit to me

Your wreckless and careless tongue 

Is what sealed it up for me and why 

There’s no proper goodbye here

No story book redemption

I have to cut it off 

One day I hope you admit 

You know why a dream has died tonight 

You’ll be bitter you’ll lash out 

Shifting focus from your pain

I wish I could hold you one last time 

And say I’m sorry but I can’t 

So say what you want 

And do what you will

You know why a dream has died tonight 

SPACES (falling fading)

 SPACES (falling fading)

You came at me as if your egos more relevant as if your egos self-importance could be more inflated 

And now with everything said and done, I’m pushed out from my own damn narrative if it was ever even mine to start

So here I am all alone, unable to breathe much less stand up in the spaces you left behind

Did your need to be heard always have to supersede mine

I’m falling fading, falling fading, falling fading into (ahhhh)

For someone who survived similar life events, I think you’d handle a fragile mind a bit more delicately

Maybe that’s why it hurts so much as you know the near future’s savage, every part of me damaged, yet you’re audacious

So what’s the use? It’s over it’s no use if there’s no room to be in the space that you left behind.

Did your deficiency always have to supersede mine?

I’m falling fading, falling fading, falling fading into (ahhhh)

Was it a contest with you the victor and the prize is my eulogy

I’m falling fading, falling fading, falling fading into (ahhhh)

The Difference

The Difference 

Something so basic they have to be the same

Bath time for two, one at a time

I didn’t disturb your 2 hour soak as you said it felt great

You were rushing me to be done before I got undressed 

But you’re also taking selfies being a thot on the apps

My one snap captures the misery all over my face

Its just proof of the difference

It illustrates the difference 

Is there love in the difference 

Does it work with the difference

Between you and I 

Between me and you 

Between us there’s a chasm and it’s growing

Wider and deeper every day 

What we consider fairness, how we weaponjze tears and fears 

How much we trust and in what aspect we place that faith 

When it’s cheating and then when its not a thing to talk about 

If it’s being psycho or emotionally distraught 

Its just proof of the difference

It illustrates the difference 

Is there love in the difference 

Does it work with the difference

Between you and I 

Between me and you 

Between us is there anything 

Between the difference can I find you there

Or will we find 

Its just proof of the difference

It illustrates the difference 

Is there love in the difference 

Does it work with the difference 

Crystal Sanctuary

I sit here numb

Disoriented from the destruction

You unleashed at our loves refuge 

I don’t know what to say 

Or do

That could get you right now

To open you’re eyes and believe

How many times can you shatter

Our crystal sanctuary 

Until nothing is left to salvage

Toying with emotions

Suffocating love and hope

With fallacious rage and fear

How much longer can I support 

Our crystal sanctuary’s

Until nothing can be recognized 

I lay here dumb

Processing the pain I’m subjected to

All I have to stand solid on

Is the paranoia

Not love

That you give me instead

So why do I keep trying for?

How many times can you shatter

Our crystal sanctuary 

Until nothing is left to salvage

Toying with emotions

Suffocating love and hope

With fallacious rage and fear

How much longer can I support 

Our crystal sanctuary’s

Until nothing can be recognized 

Don’t be shocked

When you come to your senses

That your loving sanctuary 

Where you terrorized me

Isn’t there and you’re alone 

Dealing with the consequences 

That you’ve kept waiting 

wasting my time loving

 

Random things always remind me

I’m wasting my time

Loving you like I do

It could be a whisper from your past

Or when something you’re suppressing 

Rises up into view

I’m never looking for it

I can’t even avoid its truth

That I’ll never be enough

I can’t measure up

To what you’ve had before

Or what you’re craving more of 

Random things always remind me

I’m wasting my time

Loving you like I do

At first when we were shiny brand new 

You could never get enough of

Whatever I could have

But now you’re bored at our best 

I’m left craving what I can’t earn 

So when I see apathy

Staring back at me

Being grand or just there

Of course I’d think “what’s the use”

Random things always remind me

I’m wasting my time

Loving you like I do

Don’t misunderstand me as I know

You love me with all you have to

I just know I can’t know

The intensity for those

That came before oh those old flames

So warm even now Im less

a match in the wind

Trying to breathe and shine 

And not fade into your night 

Random things always remind me

I’m wasting my time

Loving you like I do