Truths

Through the years I continue to face the fact

That you weren’t the one 

I hated you for so long I didn’t see

You made me better

I may be bitter and jaded

Thanks to you

But I’ll be okay 

Truths are told

And lies are learned 

Part of me hates you

Part of me thanks you 

Truths are told

Facts are exposed

Part of me hates you

Part of me thanks you 

Those eight innocent years of your gaslighting 

I’ll never regain

And at this point I would never change a thing 

You made me better

I maybe guarded on defense

Thanks to you 

But I’m doing fine

Truths are told

And lies are learned 

Part of me hates you

Part of me thanks you 

Truths are told

Facts are exposed

Part of me hates you

Part of me thanks you 

I forgive the regret I lived

Because I mourned your love

I accept the truth of us

And all the damage it caused 

Truths are told

And lies are learned 

Part of me hates you

Part of me thanks you 

Truths are told

Facts are exposed

Part of me hates you

Part of me thanks you 

Contemplating

A random text about something that doesn’t matter

Sparks a phone call I didn’t anticipate 

There’s something about me you want

Although you called it off

I’m just curious and amused

I’ve always said once I’m done, I’m done

Yet here we are again

I’ve never contemplated a second chance 

Are you worth it? 

I’m contemplating. 

Who are you now and are you different than before

Do you want me now or is this lust and bullshit 

Can you say it without the booze 

How you really feel 

I’m still aroused but confused 

If you let it go i’ll let it go 

Yet here we are again

I’ve never contemplated a second chance 

Are you worth it? 

I’m contemplating. 

This could amount to nothing more than a second glance

I gave you every effort the first go around

Now at this point it’s all on you

So don’t fuck it up

I won’t be a second thought 

I accept that you still want more, of me

Yet here we are again

I’ve never contemplated a second chance 

Are you worth it? 

I’m contemplating. 

Deserve It

I want a truce

Forgive my everything 

I’ve tried to be good

But I ruin everything. 

Be my friend

Be my be my

More than words

So Don’t be scared

I’m not that intense

Am I? 

I come on strong

But I just want love

I deserve it after their bullshit

I can’t be wrong 

And I just want love 

I deserve it after their bullshit. 

What is the truth 

You’re a baggage of lies 

I know the fool you are 

And you taught me everything 

Tell the truth

Tell me, tell me

Everything 

Im not a fool

But yet you could be,

Are you?

I come on strong

But I just want love

I deserve it after their bullshit

I can’t be wrong 

And I just want love 

I deserve it after their bullshit. 

Rambling

On and on and on

Fuck the past

On and on and on

Nothing matters

On and on and on

It’s you and me

On and on and on

Until the end

On and on and on. 

I come on strong

But I just want love

I deserve it after their bullshit

I can’t be wrong 

And I just want love 

I deserve it after their bullshit. 

Rely On

I could be the one to dethrone you

Discard your party to the wind

But you don’t play fair

And I don’t want to get dirty. 

But I will

To defend my honor

If you start slinging mud

I’ll go ape and start slinging shit

I could tell stories of generations past

Family secrets you don’t want told

It doesn’t matter if it’s truth or lies 

All you need is someone to rely

On... lean on depend on rely on. 

You could be the one to improve it

All but could you sit in that seat

Except it is...

Nothing you want but everyone craves 

Yet I do

To establish myself. 

If you don’t want me here

My words will slash you ear to ear. 

I could tell you how everyone lies but I won’t

You can figure it out for yourself. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s truth or lies 

All you need is someone to rely

On... lean on depend on rely on. 

I’m seeking representation 

If you aren’t the one

One day I will usurp you

Blood on the right side of history 

It doesn’t matter if it’s truth or lies 

All you need is someone to rely

On... lean on depend on rely on.

Dogwood Blooms

I’m not alone in this

Wanting something more than solitude

A dogwood blooms and fades away 

Forgotten until the next year. 

I need something more than

A hand on my shoulder

A connection that lasts

Past these fleeting moments 

Give me more than a promise

Be the one who is the only 

I don’t want you to come and go

Whoever you are

I’m not alone in this

Wanting something more than solitude

A dogwood blooms and fades away 

Forgotten until the next year. 

In the spring I met you 

And then gone by winter 

You couldn’t be my love 

Because you couldn’t  do it 

At this point I beyond this 

I just don’t want to deal with it

I love you and still  I hate you 

Whoever you are. 

I’m not alone in this

Wanting something more than solitude

A dogwood blooms and fades away 

Forgotten until the next year. 

It’s a promise of spring 

You blossomed with opportunity 

Yet you wilted with the summer heat 

I’m looking for something more than that. 

I’m not alone in this

Wanting something more than solitude

A dogwood blooms and fades away 

Forgotten until the next year. 

Some Things I Want To Say

Before I say goodbye

There are some things I want to say

I’ve hated you but I forgive you

I lied to you cause I thought I’d protect you, That was foolish

There are a lot of lies about me

Never accept a truth from someone’s ex without further investigation. 

I’m not dying tomorrow

I might be out of your life soon

Before I say goodbye

There are some things I want to say 

I can’t say that I’ve never cheated 

He was my first love, I was just following his example 

I’ll admit I was lost at one point

But I’ve found myself and made my peace before I go but I’ve still got to say. 

I can’t deny all my lies

But they say the truth sets you free

I’m not dying tomorrow

I might be out of your life soon

Before I say goodbye

There are some things I want to say 

I’m sorry

I love you

I miss you

I forgive you 

I’m still good

I’m okay 

I’m at peace

I can own it

At the end of time

I have found my salvation

I can’t deny all my lies

But they say the truth sets you free

I’m not dying tomorrow

I might be out of your life soon

Before I say goodbye

There are some things I want to say 

Sins Of My Father

No matter how wrong it was

He thought it was right

I accept the sins of my father. 

I’ve seen the love letters a married man wrote to his second wife

I’ve seen a man with undiagnosed mental disorders in life 

I’ve been the victim of my fathers love and illness

Yet here I stand.   To tell the tale.   Will anyone believe it. 

If I was aware of it then like I am now

I’d say it to his face.   But his self was erased.

No matter how wrong it was

He thought it was right

I accept the sins of my father. 

It’s easy to count his transgressions towards what should be holiness.  

I spent my youth hating him, being born too late, knowing too much. 

Despite it all I love him, he’s all I ever knew 

His adultery,  psychosis, could you even accept these facts 

I was too young then to understand it back then 

I could scream how unfair it is but no one cares. 

No matter how wrong it was

He thought it was right

I accept the sins of my father. 

Because I am a sin of my father

A blessing to my mother

Sunshine to a family 

With a dying member.

I was born in the worst of times it made no sense 

And despite it all we’re all better off for it. 

No matter how wrong it was

He thought it was right

I accept the sins of my father.