BREAK/shatter

 BREAK/shatter

How long can you ride high

Seeing the sky and its splendor

And the ground and a free fall

How long can you pretend 

To be right with all you endure 

Without building a wall 

I don’t say enough

Until it’s too late 

I’m not good enough

To be here alright 

(Silent invisibility)

I’m one failure away

A single fall from grace

That one misstep until

I break, I shatter beyond help

The pieces at your feet 

And the points that your fingers make 

Don’t echo when it’s silent 

The pieces I leave here

The things left for arguments sake 

When you could just be present 

I’m scared for my soul 

But I’m just a take 

I just hope my soul 

Is what you can make

(Into some golden holy dust)

I’m one failure away

A single fall from grace

That one misstep until

I break, I shatter beyond help

Are the cracks showing

In my demeanor 

Am I crumbling

Under my choices

Of course I am

I’m looking down

And I can’t look up 

I can’t focus I’m a mess

And no one that matters knows this 

Silent invisibility 

Into some golden holy dust 

I’m one failure away

A single fall from grace

That one misstep until

I break, I shatter beyond help

When I splinter

And fragment

From reality 

Save your tears

And flowers 

It’s all selfish lies. 

I’m one failure away

A single fall from grace

That one misstep until

I break, I shatter beyond help

Silent invisibility 

Into some golden holy dust 

On My Lips

 

On My Lips 

I was so simple

Unaware of the world around me. 

But I felt it

Love

It’s tragically misunderstood. 

A sip of wine

A slip of tongue 

What is this feeling 

Who are we?

One was first

One was best

One was a waste of time 

And one doesn’t even matter 

But here we are 

On my lips 

At the time I loved you best 

God damn if you didn’t feel the same. 

I was so simple

Unaware of the world around me. 

But I felt it

Love

It’s tragically misunderstood. 

Times were so blissful

I ignore all the bad times that could be. 

But I can bump 

Jump 

It’s real personification 

A sip of wine

A slip of tongue 

What is this feeling 

Who are we?

On my lips 

At the time I loved you best 

God damn if you didn’t feel the same. 

One was first

One was best

One was a waste of time 

And one doesn’t even matter 

But here we are 

Love you first 

Love you last

Fuck it all 

And let light shine. 

One was first

One was best

One was a waste of time 

And one doesn’t even matter 

But here we are 

On my lips 

At the time I loved you best 

God damn if you didn’t feel the same. 

Hold Me Down

 

In a moment I want to dream now

Of what could ever become 

In time I just stand in line 

To be someone I won’t be 

But yet I’ve said as such 

I love me it’s the best

But in this world 

I want more than this

I’ve said it before

But I don’t know 

Could you hold me down

And make me feel secure. 

Is this real or a dream unfulfilled 

You seem so safe but obscure

Are you a moment in time

Or a dream to hold on to 

Despite your lip service 

You’ve been warned about me 

And you should know 

I want more than this

I’ve said it before

But I don’t know 

Could you hold me down

And make me feel secure. 

Lies are words sold as facts 

Where does the truth begin. 

If not with me. 

I want more than this

I’ve said it before

But I don’t know 

Could you hold me down

And make me feel secure. 

Giving Me Life

I’ve spent a life time wanting something

But not knowing what it is but craving 

Something that isn’t mine 

Is that alright?

I wanted something more

Than the ordinary

Can you be more than 

Extraordinary 

I don’t know 

I can’t feel it

But right now

I don’t care anymore

Because you’re giving me life

And that’s all that matters 

Oh baby.  It’s all that’s right now 

I wasted years and tears on a dream

That I can’t remember it’s worth living 

But it’s all inside my mind

Is that alright?

I wanted something more

Than the ordinary

Can you be more than 

Extraordinary 

What can you

Say about it

Knowing me

What can you say right now

Because you’re giving me life

And that’s all that matters 

Oh baby.  It’s all that’s right now 

Because you’re giving me life 

And that all that matter matters 

My dear.  It’s all that’s right now 

I wanted something more

Than the ordinary

Can you be more than 

Extraordinary 

Is that us 

Can it be that 

Let’s be true 

Why couldn’t it be real 

Because you’re giving me life

And that’s all that matters 

Oh baby.  It’s all that’s right now 

Because you’re giving me life 

And that all that matter matters 

My dear.  It’s all that’s right now 

Because you’re giving me life 

And that all that matter matters 

○○○○○○.  It’s all that’s right now 

I 愛 I

On the couch of my best friends house 

I question my life until now 

Why am I here and who am I with

I’m basically pre selling damaged goods

I don’t know how

But I’ve weathered the storm

Here I stand face to face

I’m still here despite it all. 

I 愛 I 

And what if it’ll

I 愛 I 

I’m still worth it

I 愛 I 

I’d love a chance

I 愛 I 

Fuck a last dance 

Believing my friends are my friends

It’s bitter when that’s not true dear

But why should I disassociate

When you truly hold me dear what’s to fear 

What is love, babe

But a lie we sell so 

That we can seem simple

No matter I’m not the one 

I 愛 I 

And what if it

I 愛 I 

I’m still worth it

I 愛 I 

I’d love a chance

I 愛 I 

Fuck a last dance 

What I could do

If I cared enough 

Loved enough 

Was enough 

Enough

Am I

Am I enough

An I enough for love

I 愛 I 

And what if it

I 愛 I 

I’m still worth it

I 愛 I 

I’d love a chance

I 愛 I 

Fuck a last dance 

Me

 

I don’t know what to say anymore

Every word rumbles in my brain. 

What is this who are we 

Why can’t I be 

Me 

Thats all I want to be

Me

I just don’t understand 

Me

So give me time to see

Me

It’s a joke how I choked

Trying to be coupled 

I wanted to be everything 

To someone that doesn’t exist 

What about love above and below

The best and the worst 

The son and moon

What is real

The truth 

I don’t know what to say anymore 

This comprehension is numbing 

In the light and the dark 

Why can’t I be 

Me 

Thats all I want to be

Me

I just don’t understand 

Me

So give me time to see

Me

I’d hold you close again 

Emoting is funny 

When you have detached from everything. 

Dear, just what is this pretext 

Who are we right here right now but pure 

Nothing all that

I love and what 

Is this pain

My life 

What is this feeling I have 

I’m numb to everything beyond me 

For Better or worse 

Why can’t I be 

Me 

Thats all I want to be

Me

I just don’t understand 

Me

So give me time to see

Me

Queer As Fuck

 Queer As Fuck

I once wanted to settle into the background

But life said that wasn’t meant for me

All I wanted was to feel comfort and be safe

Is it fare that who am I am determines that 

It’s careless to be

Free and open

To love myself

And everything that comes

I don’t care any more

If you don’t know by now

I’m queer as fuck

I don’t know how to be

Any way but this 

I’m not sorry if this disrupts your day to day 

I live for myself because no one else will try

To be the man unafraid of love

With a man in every way I’d ever dare to 

Bare myself for without a hesitation 

It’s my truth my time

And it’s alright 

That I’m “this way”

Because none of its wrong 

I don’t care any more

If you don’t know by now

I’m queer as fuck

I don’t know how to be

Any way but this 

I’m not sorry if this disrupts your day to day 

I don’t care, don’t care anymore

About how you feel about me

Because I’m better off

Without hatred and bigotry 

 

So I live 

And I breathe

To have love

I don’t care any more

If you don’t know by now

I’m queer as fuck

I don’t know how to be

Any way but this 

I’m not sorry if this disrupts your day to day