どこに立つ (Doko ni tatsu)

Foolish times and simple crimes 

Hopeful dreams and desired chances 

It always fails in the end

Because I shouldn’t be here

With you

Yet here we are 

I’m in handcuffs

Wondering how I’m going to call my mother

You’re talking fast

I fear the worst 

This moment could be my ever after forever 

Flippantly playing at life

Will slap you in the face

It hurts when it does

Doko ni tatsu.  (どこに立つ)

Foolish times and simple crimes 

Hopeful dreams and desired chances 

It always fails in the end

Because I shouldn’t be here

With you

Damn damn damn it

I’m living life 

Filled with regrets of 30 some odd years but still

I love you fool

Whoever now

Is the idiot who fits into that position. 

Flippantly playing at life

Will slap you in the face

It hurts when it does

Doko ni tatsu.  (どこに立つ)

Laughing while I just cry now

Because the future isn’t enough 

Here and now or without you. 

Since it does not make sense 

Without you. 

Foolish times and simple crimes 

Hopeful dreams and desired chances 

It always fails in the end

Because I shouldn’t be here

With you

(私と一緒でなければどこに立つの？)

Watashi to isshodenakereba doko ni tatsu no?

This Is Dumb/Cracker

You want a chance

Just a start

A moment on this 

Anything to be close

I reach closer to you

Yet you pull away

I try to extend again. 

And I excite

Foolish fools try to say

Just what lie we should be

Empty hearts tell the lies

That tell us where we went wrong 

Blah. 

This is dumb. 

Fuck this dumb bullshit

Your bigotry and ignorance

I played it nice 

But you won’t let me be so

Fuck this redneck shit

The hatred and foolishness 

I played it nice

But you won’t let me be so...

I’m going to be myself

A cracker bastard who won’t let go

Of all the bull shit everyone’s been through

I want a choice

In my star. 

A man that I could kiss. 

Anything to be close 

I’d do anything for you 

You don’t understand 

I try again just for you 

As I exit 

Ignorance lives till this day. 

What delusions should be

Vacant souls hear the cries

Of those of us who are gone 

Damn

This is dumb

Fuck this dumb bullshit

Your bigotry and ignorance

I played it nice 

But you won’t let me be so

Fuck this redneck shit

The hatred and foolishness 

I played it nice

But you won’t let me be so...

I’m going to be myself

A cracker bastard who won’t let go

Of all the bull shit everyone’s been through

I tried to be simple 

But In the background 

Behind a love story

Was racism so systematic 

I couldn’t handle it 

He was cute and he was dumb 

But I couldn’t join another racist

While giving myself away

And that’s how it ends

Fuck this dumb bullshit

Your bigotry and ignorance

I played it nice 

But you won’t let me be so

Fuck this redneck shit

The hatred and foolishness 

I played it nice

But you won’t let me be so...

I’m going to be myself

A cracker bastard who won’t let go

Of all the bull shit everyone’s been through

Despite Rhymes

It’s time

Despite rhymes 

To make you mine

It’s the time for many things.  

A long due revolution 

Righting wrongs 

Across all time 

I’m here for that 

Where do I begin 

But before that 

Imma be selfish

Let me find a partner 

Who will also fight this fight

It’s time

Despite rhymes 

To make you mine

That’s a dream in spite of things 

I’ll let go for a solution

Singing songs

That aren’t just mine 

Join me in that

Where do we begin?

But before this

I waza selfish 

Just wanting a cohort

 Who will also fight this fight. 

And in my mind 

It’s still time

To make you mine. 

But I don’t need him

I wanted my voice to be a chorus

But I don’t need him.  

Simplicity

Trying to be myself

And a champion 

To the forgotten

And the underprivileged 

Yet I’m stretched thin. 

I want to do every thing

Right every wrong 

Be a hero in the chaos

When all hope is gone

Yet I pray for

Simplicity 

All I want is

Simplicity

What is wrong with

Simplicity 

It’s not simple

Simplicity. 

I’m not able to win 

Your daily battles so 

I try to find ways 

To be the one who can 

But I’m stretched thin

I want to be on the right side

Of history. 

And be that someone who can help

A soul to be free

Yet I pray for

Simplicity 

All I want is

Simplicity

What is wrong with

Simplicity 

It’s not simple

Simplicity. 

This isn’t simple

Not matter how much I want it

To work and tears and years

Of making it be

This isn’t simple 

Despite the  years of fantasy 

Behind a wall of the fears 

Of making them see

Yet I pray for

Simplicity 

All I want is

Simplicity

What is wrong with

Simplicity 

It’s not simple

Simplicity. 

I Don't Want To Know Love

I don’t want to know love

All it brings is pain

And I’m done with that

I don’t know I don’t know

I can’t pretend this joy

What could it ever gain 

I won’t be a stat 

I don’t know what is Love 

A silent drive to lovers ridge

Is this where I find love

Or I lose my innocence. 

Soon we’ll know 

Touch me don’t

You don’t know me

Love me stop

I’m reaching now

For love but I don’t understand 

What it is but Im clinging to it

Despite it. 

I don’t want to know love

All it brings is pain

And I’m done with that

I don’t know I don’t know

I can’t pretend this joy

What could it ever gain 

I won’t be a stat 

I don’t know what is Love 

Alone by myself at a clinic  

Is this where I find my fate

Or I live to fuck again

We will see. 

Touch me stop

I’m not ready

Kiss me no

But I’m ready 

For love but I don’t understand 

What it is but Im clinging to it

Despite it. 

I don’t want to know love

All it brings is pain

And I’m done with that

I don’t know I don’t know

I can’t pretend this joy

What could it ever gain 

I won’t be a stat 

I don’t know what is Love 

Dumb silly

So unsteady 

In the mirror

I face myself. 

I don’t want to know love

All it brings is pain

And I’m done with that

I don’t know I don’t know

I can’t pretend this joy

What could it ever gain 

I won’t be a stat 

I don’t know what is Love 

Father

You have provided life

But you left damage

In your wake

I’d never have a child of my own. 

Father

A little more further 

To love me

But it’s too late

Father

You never could muster 

To see me

But it’s too late. 

I shouldn’t be here

I’m a great hilarity

Mother should have left

The first time you went crazy

But she stayed she did

As she gave you a son before me

Damn the simple facts 

It still goes so much deeper

You have provided life

But you left damage

In your wake

I’d never have a child of my own. 

Father

A little more further 

To love me

But it’s too late

Father

You never could muster 

To see me

But it’s too late. 

To start over now 

It’s a classic tragedy. 

I’m still alive but

You’ve been dead for many years

So I can’t tell you

How important your second son is 

Fuck what is right

I won’t be made feel cheaper

Yes you did conceive me

But you left me famished

In this state 

Your eternity won’t see an heir. 

Father

A little more further 

To love me

But it’s too late

Father

You never could muster 

To see me

But it’s too late. 

Victim (White Fool)

You ignorant white fool

Playing the victim 

When you played the game

For your own benefit. 

Nothing more than a tool 

You’re still their victim. 

Why are you angry

Is your bullshit exposed

The lies that your life was built on

Were finally disposed?

Your mirror won’t let you see 

That’s the same basic lie

It’s time to evaluate 

Your attempt and each try

You ignorant white fool

Playing the victim 

When you played the game

For your own benefit. 

Nothing more than a tool 

You’re still their victim. 

Why are you still here

Shouldn’t you just let go 

You’re fantasy is losing faith. 

Gen Zen is saying no

How does it feel to be there 

On the wrong side of it

History with the treads bare 

Hopes you’ll no longer get

You ignorant white fool

Playing the victim 

When you played the game

For your own benefit. 

Nothing more than a tool 

You’re still their victim. 

I write this

Behind white privilege. 

I’m not unaware

Not so afraid

To speak my mind

And be silenced