XXI

XXI

Dreams of the future

Sitting in home room

The promise of freedom

That comes at 21

We could be better 

Than what we are now

But it’s all we wanted 

Just to become 21

Wishing away the present

For an age that’s a flash

Don’t wish it all away

For 2 x’s and an I

We live our best life

And still want to be 21

No matter our age

We still want to be 21

We could be a child

And want to be 21

Or thirty something 

We still want to be 21

Regrets from the past 

So much wasted time

All the lies of my youth

I missed at 21

Such missed enjoyment 

Things I never had 

Let it be a lesson

Don’t forsake 21

Regretting my past mistakes 

But I can’t turn back time 

Don’t wish it all away

For 2 x’s and an I

We live our best life

And still want to be 21

No matter our age

We still want to be 21

We could be a child

And want to be 21

Or thirty something 

We still want to be 21

Thinking you know it all

But knowing nothing

21 is the gateway to everything

The future, being boring, just existing

Your truth, being great, and still living

We live our best life

And still want to be 21

No matter our age

We still want to be 21

We could be a child

And want to be 21

Or thirty something 

We still want to be 21

Blank Verse

I loved the idea once

Of loving you

You led me to believe 

We could have been something

That forever 

No one could take away

But you are empty

Despite your fullness

I can not do it

I need something more

With all your substance you have nothing to offer

Despite your being appealing you left me just empty 

A lyric without rhyme you’re a poetic blank verse 

Don’t mistake what I say

There is nothing

I regret about you

Is it wrong to proclaim

Your shortcomings

As vaguely as I can?

You can’t fulfill me

Nor could I please you

As I’m not just a

Missing puzzle piece

With all your substance you have nothing to offer

Despite your being appealing you left me just empty 

A lyric without rhyme you’re a poetic blank verse 

Just lyrics without rhyme

A blank verse in my life

Foolish

I heard a song and it reminds me of you

Those memories are the remnants of a fool

Yet who’s the fool

You or me

I walked away and you gave up 

Here I am and there you are

Looking at each other like fools

It’s silly to ignore you

That would be foolish

Memories ever-changing

How would you be remembered 

A fool or hero

The truth is ever present. 

So the truth is wild but it’s always the truth 

A young dumb sycophant stands here unashamed 

Yet who’s the fool

You or me

We surrendered to nothingness 

You’re no better or worse than I 

But the universe still calls us fools 

It’s silly to ignore you

That would be foolish

Memories ever-changing

How would you be remembered 

A fool or hero

The truth is ever present

I’m Better

You led me to believe you loved me

And I would be worse off without you

The lies, the lies, the lies 

You made me question my own self worth 

And I felt so insignificant 

I cried, I cried, I cried

You have no place left in my life

It’s time to say goodbye to you

And the poison that is you 

I’m better

I’m better off

I’m better off without

I’m better off without you 

Yet you shattered my self confidence 

Left me afraid to be who I am

But why, but why, but why

Why did I let you toxify me

Everything about me that was true 

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You have no place left in my life

It’s time to say goodbye to you

And the poison that is you 

It’s time to

It’s time to say

It’s time to say goodbye

It’s time to say goodbye now 

I’m better

I’m better off

I’m better off without

I’m better off without you 

You were good once but not anymore 

No matter how you feel this is me

Living, living, living 

Here I am

Here I am now

Here I am now despite 

Here I am now despite you 

It’s time to

It’s time to say

It’s time to say goodbye

It’s time to say goodbye now 

I’m better

I’m better off

I’m better off without

I’m better off without you 

I’ll Never Be

This itch hurts

To do things I never can

It vibrates down to my bones

I’ll always be alone but I have more to give 

High hopes and aspirations 

I gave it everything I could

I hope it’s enough 

I’ll never be royalty, President,

A doctor or a father 

I’ll be nothing more than your son

I hope I can still make y’all proud

You don’t know

The struggle inside my mind

Always dealing with this pain

I’m more than this emptiness yet here we are now

Dreaming of more simple things 

But I’m aware of all this 

Isn’t good enough

I’ll never be royalty, President,

A doctor or a father 

I’ll be nothing more than your son

I hope I can still make y’all proud

Trying to be the perfect son is bullshit

You either are or you aren’t

Yet in your parents eyes you’re the best they could manage 

High hopes and aspirations 

I gave it everything I could

I hope it’s enough 

I’ll never be royalty, President,

A doctor or a father 

I’ll be nothing more than your son

I hope I can still make y’all proud

Start to Rot

At times when I write

I frustrate myself

As in my mind 

I’m writing the same things

I would at 14

Have I not evolved?

Or do we not evolve from hormonal rage

Basic human emotions that never change

Carnal, emotional, spiritual 

Is that were we start to rot

To dissolve to become complacent 

Or we just get better at composing better words together. 

When I’m with my thoughts

I can hate myself 

I’ll try to say

How I feel but I can’t 

It’s always the same

Things I can’t explain. 

Maybe things that are now shouldn’t be explained 

Who I am and what I feel is what it is 

Honest, at the point that, we are just here 

Is that were we start to rot

To dissolve to become complacent 

At this point I die a little more and more every day 

Dissolve into oblivion

As flesh turns to dust

I’m still trying to figure out

How to put these words together 

Now I’m questioning everything is this the beginning of the end

Is that were we start to rot

To dissolve to become complacent 

I don’t know anymore

Does anyone know 

Questions

I loved you once 

If just for a moment in time

That feeling could have been a lie

I don’t know anymore 

Were you the one

We’ll never know cause you flaked out

It’s okay I don’t resent you 

But I still question things 

How much space do you give someone until they drift away

How much pressure do you put on someone until they break 

How much love do you give someone until they can break your heart 

How much power do you give someone until they can control. 

Questions no one can answer 

Until its too late

Questions...

Questions no one can answer

Until it’s too late

Questions 

I’m better off

Without you and your bullshit now

We aren’t wasting each other’s time

But I’d want to reclaim 

All that I lost 

My pride, soul, and financially 

Things you stole I’ll never reclaim 

But I still question why. 

I wasted 8 years on your ass

For no reason but yours

Why did I subject to you when 

When you don’t care about me

Who were you then to make me fall in love

Then you broke my heart

How much power do you give someone

Until they can control 

Questions no one can answer 

Until its too late

Questions...

Questions no one can answer

Until it’s too late

Questions 

Things never asked

Things never said

At the end of the day

I’m looking dumb

With questions.