Now I Know…

 

I always pitied you 

And believe the talk wasn’t true 

Surely they were better 

And you were OK 

Well, I was fucking wrong 

Oh so fucking wrong 

I let you in as people shut you out 

Like an alley cat without an alley 

Be an ally be his friend 

Well goddamn I didn’t know what that meant 

Now I know I should have never

Open the door

Offered my hand

And let you in

Now I know I should have never

Became your friend

Gave any help

Not take your side

Take my time or money

And you’d be no different than them but my life now that’s new

Not identity

But my thought and action 

Why not just kill me

Then you could be me more so freely then

I have to remind you that in the end

You’re just a cheap imitation

Or do you keep me around just to hurt

Now I know I should have never

Open the door

Offered my hand

And let you in

Now I know I should have never

Became your friend

Gave any help

Not take your side

I never thought I was imitatable 

Just a guy with questionable taste and morals

But then someone as sad as you comes along to prove me wrong

I mean there’s been a slut and there’s nothing wrong with that

Then there is the bargain bin twice returned,walking fleshlight that is you

Now I know… now I know

…now I know. 

Now I know I should have never

Open the door

Offered my hand

And let you in

Now I know I should have never

Became your friend

Gave any help

Not take your side

Crashing Down

 I’ve tried… that’s all, I tried

To be some kind of  super  human
Who  loves too much with skin of  steel
But now I feel drained and worn out

I let everyone take from me
A  little or a lot
Only once or all the time
And I spared feelings while feeling everything

When everything comes crashing down
its usually just me in my head
but not now, you’ll get hurt as I watch the world burn

Crashing down…
…the world burns

The problem is … it’s you
That  made me not care by just caring
Without being accounted for
Now I’m without a fuck for you

When I scorch your earth and your soul
Don’t give me any blame
When your name  bares all the shame
I’m as good as dead  before it even starts

When everything comes crashing down
its usually just me in my head
but not now, you’ll get hurt as I watch the world burn

Today will be the last day, of the last year
The last time I hold my tongue to save your feelings
…Despite my mental health

Momma Please

 

"Momma Please"

I find myself, alone and bruised
Like we’ve been abandoned and betrayed by trust
And without trust what good can you share with someone?
Anyone?

The only fix that I know never works
We fight the hurt until its done

As your last words lash against my back
All I can remember is the pain
From every time I took abuse
It's unbearable
Momma, please help me find my serenity

Momma, Momma please,
Help me find peace

Years ago, now, or this morning
I attract this treatment like a magnet can pull
But how can I block out the only thing I know
That I don’t know

From lovers to strangers it’s all the same
With old roots  older than  my years

As your last words lash against my back
All I can remember is the pain
From every time I took abuse
It's unbearable
Momma please help me find my serenity

Momma, Momma please,
Help me find peace

Free - Love

   

Don’t fuck this up

It’s simply uncomplicated

Everyone is happy with everything

It would be a shame if fairy tale lies ruined all that’s –

 

Free – Love – free – love

Just enjoying

Free – Love – free – love

I’m salivating

Free – Love – free – love

 

I don’t want that love that hurts

It’s nothing but an emotional distraction

I don’t want that love that  hates

Just a waste of time that’s full of complications

 

Don’t hold onto

The lies of love that we’ve been sold

No one’s happy, truly, living like that

So why don’t you surrender to what this is and enjoy

 

Free – Love – free – love

Just enjoying

Free – Love – free – love

I’m here and I’m thriving

Free – Love – free – love

 

I don’t want that love that lies

It’s nothing but an emotional distraction

I don’t want that love that  bleeds

Just a waste of time that’s full of complications

 

I don’t want to be in love

If a heart can break by the  time that it’s done

I don’t want a love that binds

All I want is

 

Free – Love – free – love

Just enjoying

Free – Love – free – love

I’m salivating

Free – Love – free – love

Just enjoying

Free – Love – free – love

I’m here and I’m thriving

Free – Love – free – love 

Like That

Here in the dawn

You’re still in my arms

I don’t know what that means

I could fantasize of a future

That won’t ever be

I could just hope it’s true

We know I’ll never see 

Love

Like that

Or anything 

Like that ever my friend 

Let love be wrong

So I can write off 

These feelings I am feeling 

I’m living in this world and trying 

Not be bound to love 

Despite all my crying. 

I will still rise above

Love

Like that

Or anything 

Like that ever my friend 

I won’t tie myself down again

I won’t trouble myself with

Love and lust emotions or pain

No matter how much it

Hurts I cry I  call out 

Love

Like that

Or anything 

Like that ever my friend 

…to be…

 

All I know is I want to belong 

With you or without 

I’m craving a place

I can’t fault my past 

They were steps I made

So I can be here now. 

Is this home or another step

Along the way, what can i say. 

Other than I always want more 

Despite all hope my want is all gone 

Give me something 

That I can aspire 

To be, let me be 

Leave me alone dear 

Here is my lonely prowl. 

Is this home or another step

Along the way, what can i say. 

Other than I always want more 

Do you know

The sum of me

Do you …

Is this home or another step

Along the way, what can i say. 

Other than I always want more 

The Best

 

Carolina boy

Taurus shit

Bullshit rising 

But What is this?

I’m out here living 

My best life

You can dump on me all you want

I’ll always be here to remind you 

I’m the best 

No contest

Let it rest

I’m the best

Let it rest

I’m the best. 

Forget all you heard 

It’s a lie

Trying denying 

A fantasy. 

God damn what is this

Feeling dear 

Nothing ever makes any sense 

I try I cry and I love again

I’m the best 

No contest

Let it rest

I’m the best

Let it rest

I’m the best. 

Try and live and relive 

All the best 

Forget the worst 

Live it up

I’m the best. 

I’m the best 

No contest

Let it rest

I’m the best

Let it rest

I’m the best.