THE GAME

 THE GAME

CAREFUL now don’t get hurt

You’re PLAYING at things you don’t understand

But I recognize what’s at hand

I was THE ONE that made it a thing

It’s okay to TRY this out

It’s FUN, but not for everyone 

You seem ready, SO SURE, but…

What ya know about THE GAME

I WROTE THE BOOK 

I’m the standard 

What ya know about the game

I set the stage

I’m the BLUEPRINT

Don’t underestimate 

My understanding of your moves right now

I knew how this ends at the start

You’d be FOOLISH to CHALLENGE me

It’s cool to PUSH yourself 

It’s great to try and LEVEL UP

You’ve got skill, EGO, but…

What ya know about the game

I am the first 

I’m STILL the face

What ya know about the game

I did the work

I’m your IDOL

Did you not STUDY up first

How could you miss a CRUCIAL piece

Like who I am, what I… do?

What ya know about the game?

I am THE WHY

I live your DREAM

What ya know about the game?

I’m what they want 

I’m everything 

Where Is It?

 Where Is It?

These feeling I shouldn’t have 

Make me not want to breathe

Just the thought of you not with me

Makes me choke up, what’s wrong with me

I’d rather die than feel like this 

Maybe it’d be different in another life

Instead of your double one

That I walked into

Eyes open and knowing 

Where’s this stop, does it start to end?

Where’s the line where this isn’t okay

Where’s the sign that my hearts been broke 

Where’s my cue to know I’ve gone too deep

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it, damn it?

I know how bad this will end

I’m here and don’t know why

As no sex beats the souls anguish

That’s bound to be conceived in this 

Am I a sadomasochist?

What about you, in the end where do you land?

Safely on the other side?

Not broke with me…

Did you know this before…

…you got me into this. 

Where’s this stop, does it start to end?

Where’s the line where this isn’t okay

Where’s the sign that my hearts been broke 

Where’s my cue to know I’ve gone too deep

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it, damn it?

You are the right mix of danger and toxicity 

To make me forget every bit of decorum 

You’ve unknowingly already wounded my heart

And I’m still here wanting to be dumb and hold your hand. 

What’s sad is the lies a lie too

We’re just too fucked up to admit

That in the end none of this was real

So did any of it happen anyway? 

Where’s this stop, does it start to end?

Where’s the line where this isn’t okay

Where’s the sign that my hearts been broke 

Where’s my cue to know I’ve gone too deep

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it, damn it?

I know it isn’t fair to just blame you, I’m complicit too!

But as I write notes for my mother…

About how I want my funeral to play out 

It’s the first time that I find some genuine joy when you cross my mind. 

To Know You Sober

 To Know You Sober

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

To understand someone I’ll never know

Although I know the husk and ghost intimately 

The meaty, juicy bits have all withered away

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

Maybe save you from pain that drug you here

Or maybe you could be the one that saves me yet

We’ll never know as they are thing that won’t happen

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

See someone with seemingly everything 

And witness them throw all that away and for what

To know what caused the pain that left those scare you hide 

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

To see those beautiful eyes full of life

And not hollowed out from not believing in hope

I shudder and try to understand my misery

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

And as I reminisce about the past

I wish we had a chance to meet back then but why

Bother fantasizing about things that won’t be 

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

Before this began with feelings over

Back when I cared and gave out empathy freely 

Before I knew you and thought about what I missed. 

Cry Baby, Cry

 Cry Baby, Cry

Basic things 

Menial 

Cluttering up a daily agenda

They clamor on

Without meaning 

You just needed a distraction

Something to drown out all the noise

But in the audible solitude 

You open up things left ignored. 

The music hits your ears

And vibrates something inside

Your eyes start to well up

Go ahead and cry baby cry

…baby cry baby…

…cry baby cry…

…baby cry baby…

…cry baby…

…cry!

There’s been pain

Regret

All left unprocessed regardless of time

And building up 

Until they breach 

All the walls that protected you

Fail to rhythm and melody 

Unguarded, raw emotions take hold

It’s overwhelming to take on

The music hits your ears

And vibrates something inside

Your eyes start to well up

Go ahead and cry baby cry

These feelings what are they

How do you comprehend them

Your eyes start to well up

Go ahead and cry baby cry

The music hits your ears

And vibrates something inside

Your eyes start to well up

Go ahead and cry baby cry

…baby cry baby…

…cry baby cry…

…baby cry baby…

…cry baby…

…cry!

Mummer’s Farce

 Mummer’s Farce (the role)

Been broken hearted too many times

Yet I find myself welcoming the pain

It’s like it’s branded on my face

“Make me love and take advantage of me”

Well no more, not a fool, not today

Even if I have to pretend

To be someone else

To never feel that pain

I can act out a bit

The man of fairy tales is gone

Disguised as a mummer’s farce 

I am him, he is me

To survive, you can’t see

If I want peace, I cannot be

I know a part, I know the role

Every now and then I meet someone

Giving everyone the exact same show

And they make me feel safe and warm 

But I don’t trust myself to just let go 

I’ll hurt myself just to avoid pain 

Even if you opened up first

Gave me something else

I can’t forget that pain

I wish for once I could

The man of fairy tales is gone

Disguised as a mummer’s farce 

I am him, he is me

To survive, you can’t see

If I want peace, I cannot be

I know a part, I know the role

What experiences am I missing 

Pretending to be anything everyday 

Other than myself

I wonder. 

He could have been the one or could be

Pretending to be anything everyday

Other than my love 

I wonder. 

I am him, he is me

To survive, you can’t see

If I want peace, I cannot be

I know a part, I know the role

The man of fairy tales is gone

Disguised as a mummer’s farce 

#FUPA

 #FUPA (Fucked Up Piece of Ass)

I was messed up

Lost and confused

Then I found you

Maybe you were too

But we connected 

Then intertwined 

What is this

If not love 

No matter how I feel

And if you feel the same

I’m no good for you I’m just 

A fucked up piece of ass

Incomplete parts 

Of separate wholes

But together 

It all fits, almost

Because when alone 

I miss your parts 

Who you are

How you feel

No matter how I feel

And if you feel the same

I’m no good for you I’m just 

A fucked up piece of ass

Call it what you want 

It’s no good with me

You see

I’m damaged, toxic 

Just a waste of time

You see

No matter how I feel

And if you feel the same

I’m no good for you I’m just 

A fucked up piece of ass

Now I Know…

 

I always pitied you 

And believe the talk wasn’t true 

Surely they were better 

And you were OK 

Well, I was fucking wrong 

Oh so fucking wrong 

I let you in as people shut you out 

Like an alley cat without an alley 

Be an ally be his friend 

Well goddamn I didn’t know what that meant 

Now I know I should have never

Open the door

Offered my hand

And let you in

Now I know I should have never

Became your friend

Gave any help

Not take your side

Take my time or money

And you’d be no different than them but my life now that’s new

Not identity

But my thought and action 

Why not just kill me

Then you could be me more so freely then

I have to remind you that in the end

You’re just a cheap imitation

Or do you keep me around just to hurt

Now I know I should have never

Open the door

Offered my hand

And let you in

Now I know I should have never

Became your friend

Gave any help

Not take your side

I never thought I was imitatable 

Just a guy with questionable taste and morals

But then someone as sad as you comes along to prove me wrong

I mean there’s been a slut and there’s nothing wrong with that

Then there is the bargain bin twice returned,walking fleshlight that is you

Now I know… now I know

…now I know. 

Now I know I should have never

Open the door

Offered my hand

And let you in

Now I know I should have never

Became your friend

Gave any help

Not take your side