28 Reasons (2nd Draft)

 28 Reasons

I kiss your brother just for a thrill

It’s not about your feelings it’s my pleasure

Just when you feel that I’m only trouble 

I will bring you esctacy that is beyond measure 

 

Ooh ooh I’m breaking every rule

Leaving every dream you hold dear,  ruined

So of the 28 Reasons that broke you down

One was enough to bring the tears

And with these 28 Reasons you’re still here now

Are you just dumb or a sadist

you say you love me, But I can see that you Feel so bad

I guess love has no logic

I'm not the devil, I’ve been called worse so I don't care

As I sooth a heart, that’s raw aching

I steal your treasure or at least your heart

All for sport I admit it’s making me bored now

How does love taste? You’d say “Sweet and bitter”

Why else would you think that I’d make your dreams come true

 

Ooh ooh I'm making every rule

you’re left with no choice but to play along

 

So Of the 28 Reasons what makes you pray

That you still want me in your life.

And with these 28 Reasons that I enjoy

Watching you hurt while needing me

 

you say you love me, But I can see that you Feel so bad

I guess love has no logic

I'm not the devil, they call me worse so I don't care

As I sooth your heart that’s raw, aching

I swear I need you more so than ever

This deviant behavior does turn me on

It’s our little secret unless you tell

Then everyone will know of our game

 

You're in danger, but it's okay

You're a grown-up, yeah

28 Reasons of love and pain

You’re hurt but yet you’re in my bed

(Do you just love the pain?)

Of all the 28 Reasons I give to you

I wonder which will make this end

 

you say you love me, but I can see that you Feel so bad

I guess love has no logic

I'm not the devil, I’ve been called worse so I don't care

As I sooth your heart, it’s raw, aching 

  

Based on an original composition by Jeon Ji-eun, Jo Yoon-kyung, Yoo Young-jin and perform by SEUGLI

Damaged

Damaged 

Moribund Devotion II

If you want someone

Who’s full of life 

No misery

Then move along

If you need someone

Thats full of hope

Without sorrow

I’m not the one

Maybe once that’s who I was

But the constant abuses to my heart

Have left me someone less

But if you still want to try

I’m not the one I was 

When it comes down to it

The best me you’ll get is

Damaged

If you crave someone 

Who’ll give his all

No questions asked

Then move along 

If you long for one 

Who is a dream

A fairytale

I’m not the one. 

I remember when I was

That guy so full of hope and love to share

Just a ghost from my past

But if you still want to try

I’m not the one I was 

When it comes down to it

The best me you’ll get is

Damaged

Shattered

Broken

Ruined for lack of a better word

Damaged

Shattered

Broken

Ruined beyond repair simply

Damaged

But if you still want to try

I’m not the one I was 

When it comes down to it

The best me you’ll get is

Damaged

Childish Heart

Childish Heart

Moribund Devotion I

I'm still stuck holding on to dreams of love, fostered by fantasies

Does that sort of thing no longer exist?

Would I be were missed for not wondering

And with childlike wonder and imagination

I still dream that the fantasy exists for me

Throughout my life I’ve remained stoic

Facing challenges and failures, without flinching 

All the while I’ve been protecting a childish heart 

Still in need of developing 

Please give my childish heart

A reason to mature 

And not grow sour

In jaded disdain 

With unadulterated love

Why is something so precious and absent in the world a weakness 

I try to hide it, but it must be known 

Even though you weaponize tenderness

I will treat it as my greatest strength that I have 

Despite the world trying to turn me against it

Do you know what it is like to cry

Because you are overwhelmed with a shameless love

That radiates from deep inside a childish heart

It’s torture yet it’s wonderful

Please give my childish heart

A reason to mature 

And not grow sour

In jaded disdain 

With unadulterated love

I just want to function

Instead of overloading

When I don’t know how to deal

With the desires…

… of a childish heart

Please give my childish heart

A reason to mature 

And not grow sour

In jaded disdain 

With unadulterated love

YOU I WE (away from love)

 YOU I WE (away from love)

I have to stop treating you like a focus  when you seem to yearn to fade into obscurity  

I know it’s easier to retreat into a distraction, but sometimes you have to face reality and it’s pain

You and I aren’t we 

So only thinking of you only hurts me

We aren’t a thing 

You cannot know

I’m withering 

Away from love

The anguish you give me isn’t a deliberate choice but it still burns my very core just the same 

Nothing can excuse either of us from any damning moves going forward in this sapian mating ritual 

You and I aren’t we 

So only thinking of you only hurts me

We aren’t a thing 

You cannot know

I’m withering 

Away from love

THE GAME

 THE GAME

CAREFUL now don’t get hurt

You’re PLAYING at things you don’t understand

But I recognize what’s at hand

I was THE ONE that made it a thing

It’s okay to TRY this out

It’s FUN, but not for everyone 

You seem ready, SO SURE, but…

What ya know about THE GAME

I WROTE THE BOOK 

I’m the standard 

What ya know about the game

I set the stage

I’m the BLUEPRINT

Don’t underestimate 

My understanding of your moves right now

I knew how this ends at the start

You’d be FOOLISH to CHALLENGE me

It’s cool to PUSH yourself 

It’s great to try and LEVEL UP

You’ve got skill, EGO, but…

What ya know about the game

I am the first 

I’m STILL the face

What ya know about the game

I did the work

I’m your IDOL

Did you not STUDY up first

How could you miss a CRUCIAL piece

Like who I am, what I… do?

What ya know about the game?

I am THE WHY

I live your DREAM

What ya know about the game?

I’m what they want 

I’m everything 

Where Is It?

 Where Is It?

These feeling I shouldn’t have 

Make me not want to breathe

Just the thought of you not with me

Makes me choke up, what’s wrong with me

I’d rather die than feel like this 

Maybe it’d be different in another life

Instead of your double one

That I walked into

Eyes open and knowing 

Where’s this stop, does it start to end?

Where’s the line where this isn’t okay

Where’s the sign that my hearts been broke 

Where’s my cue to know I’ve gone too deep

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it, damn it?

I know how bad this will end

I’m here and don’t know why

As no sex beats the souls anguish

That’s bound to be conceived in this 

Am I a sadomasochist?

What about you, in the end where do you land?

Safely on the other side?

Not broke with me…

Did you know this before…

…you got me into this. 

Where’s this stop, does it start to end?

Where’s the line where this isn’t okay

Where’s the sign that my hearts been broke 

Where’s my cue to know I’ve gone too deep

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it, damn it?

You are the right mix of danger and toxicity 

To make me forget every bit of decorum 

You’ve unknowingly already wounded my heart

And I’m still here wanting to be dumb and hold your hand. 

What’s sad is the lies a lie too

We’re just too fucked up to admit

That in the end none of this was real

So did any of it happen anyway? 

Where’s this stop, does it start to end?

Where’s the line where this isn’t okay

Where’s the sign that my hearts been broke 

Where’s my cue to know I’ve gone too deep

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it, damn it?

I know it isn’t fair to just blame you, I’m complicit too!

But as I write notes for my mother…

About how I want my funeral to play out 

It’s the first time that I find some genuine joy when you cross my mind. 

To Know You Sober

 To Know You Sober

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

To understand someone I’ll never know

Although I know the husk and ghost intimately 

The meaty, juicy bits have all withered away

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

Maybe save you from pain that drug you here

Or maybe you could be the one that saves me yet

We’ll never know as they are thing that won’t happen

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

See someone with seemingly everything 

And witness them throw all that away and for what

To know what caused the pain that left those scare you hide 

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

To see those beautiful eyes full of life

And not hollowed out from not believing in hope

I shudder and try to understand my misery

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

And as I reminisce about the past

I wish we had a chance to meet back then but why

Bother fantasizing about things that won’t be 

I wish I had a chance to know you sober

Before this began with feelings over

Back when I cared and gave out empathy freely 

Before I knew you and thought about what I missed.