Chestnut

 Chestnut 

I don’t know what to say 

I’m living life

You’re just producing

While you’re a cattle farm

I’m an enterprise 

And a hard nut to crack

Can you produce 

What I do

Your crotch rocks 

Don’t mean anything 

I’m good

I’m okay

I’ll be someone

Someday 

Today

Tomorrow

Soon

What is this feeling of

Emptiness 

Life enterally

Spinning shit for those fools

Who don’t trust In Me 

Can you care now

Like I do 

Your fool juice

Is wasted on me 

What a hard nut to crack

I’m good

I’m okay

I’ll be someone

Someday 

Today

Tomorrow

Soon

Chestnut eyed

And chestnut hair

I’m not unaware

Of what’s happening 

They say I’m I’m cute

Desired

The perfect average man

What’s perfect and average 

But a nice excuse 

I’m grandly extraordinarily 

Check that with chestnut

Hair and eyes 

I’m good

I’m okay

I’ll be someone

Someday 

Today

Tomorrow

Soon

I’m the personification 

Of the chestnut. 

Try and break me

You never will

運動の歌

 運動の歌 <Undō no uta>

But what is fate

A second hand take at eternity 

And why are we here but for

Fate (unmei) Fate (unmei) maybe faith

One time two times 

The here and now

How are we are

And who we are

Nothing but Unmei <fate>

Random encounters 

最初のキス <first kisses>

Bittersweet mistakes 

まだあなたを愛してもいいですか? <could I still love you>

But what is 愛<love>

A fools illusion of what life can be

So why are you here but for 

運命<fate> 運命<fate> たぶん信仰 <Tabun shinkō>

1回、2回 <1-Kai 2-kai>

So now why not 

And what is this

And why is this 

なぜ <why> なぜ <why>  bull shit

Blurred together and spun out

何も意味がありません<Nani mo imi ga arimasen> (nothing makes sense)

Thrown together without reason

なぜそれが問題になるのですか <Naze sore ga mondai ni naru nodesu ka> (why does it matter)

それはでたらめです <Sore wa detaramedesu> it’s bullshit 

But what is unmei

But shit thrown together 

With も意味ない  <Mo imi nai>

Namae watashi wa あなたの最悪の悪夢

But what is fate

A second hand take at eternity 

And why are we here but for

Fate (unmei) Fate (unmei) maybe faith

Schism Mirror

 Schism Mirror

Mirror glass 

Reflection refraction

Schism Mirror.  

See me at me best

Despite my worst 

All I know is I want you

To be part of me 

To love to hold

To be me in part 

Entirely 

I crave it

What I can’t touch

The opposite side

Of what I see 

Mirror glass 

Reflection refraction

Schism Mirror.  

Look at my pure dark

And seek my light 

I’m here waiting for you now

To find peace with me 

To know, adore

Like no one ever 

Despite what’s me

I want it

Is that Too much

The illusion that 

I can find love. 

Mirror glass 

Reflection refraction

Schism Mirror.  

On the other side

The flippant part

Where is open to it

But can’t find it

Love

Mirror glass 

Reflection refraction

Schism Mirror.  

I want 2❤️U

 I want 2❤️U

Here standing at the precipice 

Of now and then 

I choose to move forward

I don’t care how much it hurts

Every step forward is better 

Than the past I left behind. 

And now here is a

Facing heartful emotions 

Don’t let me be a fool again 

I want to love you but I don’t know how to 

I want to love you but I couldn’t ever

I want to love you but would you do the same 

I want to love you but would you waste time

I I I I I I want to. 

It’s it okay alright okay

To feel this way. 

You don’t know what I’ve endured so

Don’t tell me things

Like I’m a child naive 

and innocent full of hope

Because I’m wiser than my tears 

Better than everything I am

And I’m facing down 

mistakes I wish to erase 

Don’t let me be that fool again 

I want to love you but I don’t know how to 

I want to love you but I couldn’t ever

I want to love you but would you do the same 

I want to love you but would you waste time

I I I I I I want to. 

It’s it okay alright okay

To feel this way. 

But I don’t want to 

Be the one they vilify 

Don’t let me be that fool again

Interloper

 Interloper

Love me once miss me twice 

There’s no end to this 

Adore the time regret the pain

There no end to this

Hold me close and far away

I’ve no place with you right now

But here you are

Craving something

I can’t give 

What else is there to say

But let’s envelope

Interloper

I don’t know

Love me?

Had me once screwed me twice 

You’re one I don’t miss 

Become the one once then again

What does it all mean 

Let’s be real and hate ourselves 

We’re miserable in the light 

But here I am

Craving something 

You don’t dare

What else is there to say

But let’s envelope

Interloper

I don’t know

Love me?

Be a villain be a saint 

Be the tragic interloper

Be a lover be a fool

Be the one love belongs to

What else is there to say

But let’s envelope

Interloper

I don’t know

Love me?

Am I Dying

 Am I Dying

You touch me

And I feel you 

I don’t know

What this is I feel but it’s

Hot hot hot

My ears are burning

My body tickles 

Right right right 

I tremble my being

Like that it trickles 

Reaching fever pitch

My heart is pounding

Check my blood pressure 

Am I dying. 

I need you

You are wanted 

And needed

What is this but I want it. 

Raw raw raw

My soul is thirsty 

My mind is dirty 

Crave crave crave

Give my heart mercy 

Love be purity. 

Reaching fever pitch

My heart is pounding

Check my blood pressure 

Am I dying. 

What am I feeling

True love or death

Or a waste of time 

I don’t know if it’s 

Lust, something else 

Or maybe real love

Reaching fever pitch

My heart is pounding

Check my blood pressure 

Am I dying. 

Or am I alive 

For the first time

Give me a kiss

I could live or die 

Hear Me Breathe

 Hear Me Breathe

I 

Want 

You 

To 

Hear

Me

Breathe.   

Just because you are in my here and now

You don’t know me.  You can’t feel me

Can you even hear me breathe. 

You don’t know anything beyond yourself

With respect you don’t know Jack. 

Beyond yourself. And what is that?

Self absorbed ignorance. 

I’m dumb you’re young

Nothing matters 

Except what does

I 

Want 

You

To

Hear

Me 

Breathe 

Just because you are in my here and now

You don’t know me.  You can’t feel me

Can you even hear me breathe. 

You were someone I loved beyond all else 

I’m better off without that 

It’s real how I feel and you 

Are now why how I feel. 

Why is that fact

I can’t crack 

What here makes sense 

Just because you are in my here and now

You don’t know me.  You can’t feel me

Can you even hear me breathe. 

I 

Want 

You

To

Hear

Me 

Breathe 

Just because you are in my here and now

You don’t know me.  You can’t feel me

Can you even hear me breathe. 

Shell

 Shell

I’m weak

Hiding myself 

I must protect

Everything I can save

But don’t mistake my sensitivity for weakness as I’m stronger than you know.

I’m here fighting my demons and the spitfire you try and throw at me 

You don’t know how much I’ve endured to stand here today with you 

To stare you eye to eye in the face is a journey i made on my own without anyone 

And here 

Feeling vulnerable 

I set up a shell 

To protect me self. 

The pain

Being open 

I am aware 

Of the truth and the lies 

So what about the pain I feel from the past it really doesn’t matter anymore 

I’m developing a thicker skin than I had years ago so what do you have to say 

You can play the victim or come out and be the asshole that almost ruined me 

And if you did I’d give you a warming embrace to say that I forgive 

That now

I’ve let my pain go 

I set up a shell 

To protect myself. 

I’m done with being the villain 

I’m just trying to heal my end

I don’t know what that means for you 

And for once I don’t care because it’s only for me nothing else makes sense

I’m going to live my life without the weight of that painful loss of innocence. 

Let’s say 

I’m better than then

That now 

I’ve let my pain go

And here

Feeling vulnerable 

I set up a shell

To protect myself. 

Hope For

 Hope For

At rock bottom when it’s all so bleak

I try to reach out for something bright 

In hopes something reaches out to me

To save me although I’m why I’m here 

It’s so cold when you’ve nothing left

Having ruined every opportunity 

That could be but

Now not for me

When there’s nothing else to hope for

When the light in life fades into nothingness

All I can hope for is positive energy and pray 

What is this mess that I have designed

The chaos of my self destruction

Rattles my self to its very core 

I still hope something can make it right 

It’s so lonely here with mistakes 

Wishing I could turn back time ignorantly 

That sound lovely

But fantasy 

When there’s nothing else to hope for

When the light in life fades into nothingness

All I can hope for is positive energy and pray 

It’s the moments that I carry

And weight me down for all of my life somehow

Could make me strong 

If I’m don’t dumb. 

When there’s nothing else to hope for

When the light in life fades into nothingness

All I can hope for is positive energy and pray